Nila - The Girl with the Troubles

Chapter Seven - Those mistakes!

May 2013

I'm not happy with what I've done this month. I went out with a really popular guy and he basically ignored me the entire time I did.. I made a few mistakes too. I really didn't mean to do it but I feel like I really love him and I don't know what I'm supposed to do! So, I don't actually know who asked who out, but I don't think he even liked me, he just wanted me for my body. I know that now. 

So, we would spend our recess and lunch breaks in the music suite, and he kissed me a few of the times. We would write each other notes, also. After about a week I write this one line on one of the notes saying 'I want your tongue' and so, the next day, he kissed me with his tongue, I thought it was great. The only problem was, he wouldn't let me tell any of my friends that I was dating him. I was so confused as to why he wouldn't let me, but I didn't tell any of them, no matter how hard it was. 

He continuously asked me to send inappropriate photos and I hated that, I couldn't say no to him, but I didn't want to do that to myself! Why would? That's not something you just throw around, like, hey, have a photo of my naked upper body! No! That's just weird and I don't think anyone should do that.. But.. Eventually, I did. I regret it so much, I really should not have done that but he asked so many times, and when I got closer to doing it he told me how pretty I was and I didn't believe him but it was just so good to hear someone say those things about me, not putting me down for once. I know he was only saying it to get photos but at the time, I couldn't tell and I thought he truly meant them. Now i realise he didn't.

He doesn't realise how much I love him, I honestly have such strong feelings for him and I really really do not want to! I got home from a play the other day to find out that he thought we should stop dating, and as soon as i saw the message and asked why, he blocked me on everything, wouldn't pick up my calls, or respond to my texts. I got so mad and couldn't even see him at school without wanting to kill him, My friends soon realised something was up, and eventually I told them. At first they were disgusted, but after about a week of them seeing me crying because I knew what I had done, they calmed down. 

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On another note, I've started going on walks with dad...I don't know it that is a good thing or not yet, I haven't decided, because I get exercise, but if I need a break, he doesn't let me have one unless i tell him I will let him touch me. I don't want that!

He tried to bribe me the other day to get my iPad back, I was so mad, he tried to bribe me by saying I could have it back if I let him 'Lick my Pussy'. What am I supposed to say to that? Yuck! 1, I'm 13, 2, YOU'RE MY FUCKING FATHER!

Whatever, it's safe to say I didn't talk to him much that day.