Nila - The Girl with the Troubles

Chapter Eight - Threats and Secrets

August 2013

You that mistake that I made a few months ago? Sending that dick, that I still love by the way, those photos? Well he threatened me a few days ago! Who the fuck does that? He told me that if I told anyone about our relationship he'd 'ruin' me. I don't know what he means but I am so shit scared, it's not funny.

My friends know about this threat and they want to tell someone about it but that's exactly what he said! Don't tell anyone. But, anyway, my friends and I have shared a lot more secrets with each other now, well.. I have. Basically, I told them about what dad has been doing to me. I told one of the girls first, and the other one found out through her, but had to keep her mouth shut until I told her.

I discussed it with them a few times, I didn't go into much detail though, because who wants to hear about that? It's gross. I know if it wasn't me I wouldn't want to hear about it. They looked really scared and disgusted and grossed out when I told them what had been happening to me. They told me I had to tell someone, that's when i freaked out and almost started crying begging them not to tell anyone. No one can know. I'll get into so much trouble for keeping it a secret.

Something else as been happening now, but I didn't tell the girls... Dad started licking me..down there, and I don't know what to do about it, because it does actually feel good, but I can't tell him that. because that's wrong. I know it's wrong and he asks me all the time why I want him to stop and he asks if it's because he is my dad, I just stay quiet.

When he is licking me it actually feels really good and I think if someone else was doing it, I wouldn't tell them to stop, but he is dad so I have to tell him to stop because that's gross.

I made a mistake the other day, he was touching me inside with his fingers, and i moved them down to touch me even more. He hasn't shut up about that now and wants to know, if I don't like how it feels, why do I want him to do it more, and why did I move his fingers to touch me even more.

You see, I don't actually know why I did that, it's confusing me and now dad thinks I like him touching me lots, and tries to do it even more now, yuk.