Unperfect Girl (Love Story)

The Real

Alexis's point of view

When I got to my house. I went straight up to the bathroom and got out my blade. 1 cut, 2 cuts, 3 cuts my arm won't stop bleeding. Watching the blood drip from my wrist to the floor. Somehow makes me content. I clean up the blood and my arm. I throw on some black leggings and my white tank top and galaxy cover over.

I start thinking about Elizabeth. There's something about her, she gets to me. Than I realize if she were to see the real me and my body. She would leave like all the rest. I know she will. I can't let her in, I need to toughen up and just keep pushing her away. Life would just be easier, with nobody in it. Than I don't have to worry about getting hurt. Again. You can't trust anyone, everyone leaves at one point. Everyone, no matter what they say. They always leave.

After my mom and dad leaving, my step mom, my friends. I've given up on letting people in. When so many people have left you in your life, you learn to be careful who you let in. In my case I don't let anyone in, it's just easier that way. People say I've been through so much, and I'm strong for dealing with it. I never got a choice though, I had to deal with it. I have dealt with it my whole life, so it's not me being strong it's me living my life.

I don't know, life is crazy. I've been used, abandoned, bullied. I've had to raise my sisters, pay bills, work, go to school. I almost got jumped, I've been in foster care. Honestly it's hard to imagine, anything good happening to me. I would rather, not give anyone the chance to come in and mess up my life anymore than it already is.