Up from here

not anymore

Slowly opening my eyes, suddenly feeling the ache along with my head. The white ceiling pertaining that I wasn't in my room. There was a beep coming from the side as find my arm my with a dextrose.

" You're finally awake" Jeongyeon stood up from the couch looking worried.  I wasn't expecting her to be here knowing that she's already with Mina to begin with. there wasn't any assurance needed for her to be concern yet here she was standing right next to me.

" What happened" I've come to touch my head which i found wrapped with bandages. " You fell from the roof" She stared and those brown damn eyes that draws me further reminded me from the last scenario I've seen before. It's the spark that Mina has seen, filled with bright colors that attracts you deeper. Too bad it won't shine for me the same way it used to.

Jeongyeon handed out a pack of food bringing it out.  " I brought you food knowing you'll get hungry after waking up", Jeongyeon held the food as it was my favorite tteokbokki and yet I didn't have the mood. " I don't want to" Averting my gaze from hers. Being childish within the situation wasn't helping but the ache still lingers in my chest. Her presence, even her sweet smell that I found myself loving just hurts me more. We were alone, and TOGETHER.

"Hey, you need to fill that empty stomach of yours it's been two days Nayeon" She released a long sigh and apparently I was asleep for two days. 

"Where's My Aunt?" I asked spotting her bag on the couch right beside Jeongyeon. "She just bought something from the grocery" The weight on my bed increased knowing Jeongyeon occupied the other end while reaching for my hand. " Nayeon, look I'm really happy that You're finally awake but please do eat " Jeongyeon had always been my weakness and again using those gaze looking at me intently. The way she slowly caressed my hands perfectly into hers and I find myself melting to her words. " Okay" 

It was always easy to give in when it comes to love. Even if you set your own rules for yourself, you'll be surprised to notice that you were breaking them just for the people that you love. For worst you become selfish by nurturing the love that you get but no matter what you act this romantic feelings you have will make you crazy and that's what I am certain of.

I am sure that just the two of us here wouldn't help at all, neither my feelings.

" I heard you fell from the roof"

The word roof made a sting in my heart. There were a lot of reasons to tell what I was doing at the roof. I knew it was dangerous for a fact but the chance of Jeongyeon going there was higher so I stayed.

"I did" i softly mumbled. " you know it's dangerous if you stay there for too long "A tinge of anger built up inside of me.  " says you who used to stay there and used to talk with me". Somehow my favorite meal became bitter for a sense. I was pushing myself to the edge looking for the cliff as I fall. Thinking about the pain I would've felt if I were to expirience or maybe searching for answers at the end.

" were- were you waiting? " 

" then what if I was waiting for a couple of days now because I've started to have feelings for you"  is what I wanted to say, although It's just my imagination. There won't be any chance for me anyway. If I say something that would just confuse the both of us and it would be bad. Funny, how Jeongyeon used to say she will be here if I needed her and yet I was too late to answer that simple wish. It's because I was too dumb to realize things sooner then It would've been saved or maybe we weren't destined to be with.

" Yes, you weren't visiting anymore Jeongyeon"  I released a sigh admitting in defeat. " I miss my bestfriend " I managed to pull of a smile. Maybe we were just that and nothing more. It wouldn't matter if one were to lose feelings for each other. The karma would find its way to play with our feelings to be fair and equal. It just happened to be the both of us and one has to bear the ache for a long time after the other.  It wasn't bad because It will be the worst.

" I- Uhm- I'm really really really sorry" She was sincere and I started to love her more.
" It's okay... I understand" I understand if you and Mina got together without me knowing. It's okay to be with her for a month without replying to my texts even simple ones and left me waiting in the roof for a long time. I was trying hard to find things okay when I knew it wasn't

" Nayeon, I'm sorry for leaving you waiting on the roof" She held both of my hands feeling the warmth envelop my fingers. "To be honest, I have no excuse at all and seeing you here with that condition worries me a lot " She was worried, that little compliment made my heart jump. "so If you need me I'm going to be here now"

The last part was a lie for what I'm sure. She definetly won't. I know this words could mean a lot to me but for Jeongyeon it wasn't. She hasn't told me she was already in a relationship yet. I wanted her to be honest with me, to tell what's the truth and maybe hurt myself even more. Its the honesty that I want to hear, just the assurance to give me limits from stopping this rapidly beating heart from her lovely eyes. Because the lies hurts even more is what I'm sure.

" don't say that if you don't mean it "
It was rude of me to return the sincerity she has given me. This lie doesn't give me any signs of staying with her a little more. Distance would've been better for the both of us to rethink and restart again.

" what do you mean?"

" just be honest with me It's okay, I promise" the least thing I could do was give a meek smile in front of her. The only strentgh I could face in front was my ache trying to be okay for the very least.

" don't be dumb Jeongyeon,  tell me about your story" I may have gone crazy for some reason. Jeongyeon hands found its way back from the bed for support. She raised ger brow in confusion.  " I don't know what you're talking about Nayeon please be specific"

" You have a girlfriend do you? "
She was bright red after hearing it from me. Damn, I never thought it would hurt even more to see her like this.

" well- Mina and I- sorted things out and- We got- " She was blushing to the point her cheeks were like tomatoes. The stuttering showed how she was embarassed to admit and this innocent side of her was cute.

" Together"  I completed the word with a heavy heart. The main reason why I was in the hospital was because of my accident and yet I think my feelings hurted more rather than my head.

" Hey I'm back"
Thankfully Auntie came back leaving a sign for Jeongyeon to pack her things. "Sweetie How are you feeling?" My aunt was pretty much worried asking a bunch of things regarding my incident and Jeongyeon was about to leave.

"Hey uhm- I'll come visit another time and please do eat your meals " there was a shut of the door and Jeongyeon's presence was gone. My tear fell down with my Aunt surprised to see me cry.

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Hello, it's been a long time and I guess I'll be ending this story soon or maybe think about the ending but still depends on you guyss. I'll manage to update and finish this story😅 oh and I know it's really really late but Happy New Year!! Leave yur tots down below