Grandpa: Now children the thing about love is it's unconditional, undeserved, underrated, unconventional, and over all unexplainable. Not to mention it's unexpected. You can't force love. It comes it goes, it ebbs it flows, but all the while it's still there, just like an ocean. Sometimes dear ones it hits you flat in the chest and you go flying back thirty miles, wishing that you had wore a bullet proof vest. Sometimes it's so gentle, like a soft kiss on the neck that you can't help but just pray for more. When you lose her, well; she's never really lost. Because you know one day she's gonna be bossing you around in the cosmos with God chuckling reminding you that she was indeed always right. Now children, never take your mothers for granted. (Pauses) My mother, bless her soul, was quite the dynamic character. To paraphrase Shakespeare, that's what we are, characters on this grand stage we know as life. I remember... I remember being young. (Exits)
Enter Cedric, begins tidying apartment
Cedric: (whistling as he works) Mother I love you dearly, but you sure don't know how to clean. Ah! There's my Mechanics Monthly I've been looking for that; for a month. Hmm, she left me a note on the fridge;(sarcastically) I wonder what it says? "Get a girlfriend and move out you mooch." Um mom you used that one three weeks ago. Two make sure you use up the milk. (Opens fridge) Wow; three weeks ago all right... Three, pay electricity bill. Oh no wonder the lights are out. Ha sometimes I make myself chuckle. I paid that bill a month ago. They just need new bulbs. (Fixes the lights) There we go fix-ed.
Shirley bangs on the door
Shirley: These blasted keys never work!
Cedric: The other way mum.
Shirley: Oh.
Cedric: So how was your day?
Shirley: Ooh I feel as giddy as a schoolgirl.
Cedric: Should I even ask?
Shirley: You must ask that's half the fun.
Cedric: Why do you feel so "Giddy"?
Shirley: Let me take off my coat!
Cedric: Sorry.
Shirley: I found five.
Cedric: You found five?
Shirley: Five potential dates for my twenty five year old son.
Cedric: Really? What lies did you tell them this time?
Shirley: I said that you eat whale blubber.
Cedric: Appealing. So what pole are these girls from? North or south?
Shirley: They are all Bi-polar.
Cedric: Manic or depressed?
Shirley: You my boy are not an easy sell.... So they're depressed...
Cedric: That's why I'm a perma-bachelor.
Shirley: Look at the mess you've made in here! How am I supposed to find anything?
Cedric: Um, read the labels...
Shirley: Your writing is too neat.
Cedric: Sue me, Shirley.
Shirley: (Feigning insult) I am drafting the papers right now for litigation.
Cedric: I'll see you in court.
Shirley: So are you going to date or at least call one of these fabulous women I've so carefully scouted out for you?
YOU ARE READING
Collective Plays
SpiritualThis is a selection from the variety of plays I've written in the last decade and then some. One of them, "Darker Side of Happiness" is now primarily a novel.
