Fear Among The Shadows

Chapter XIV - A Dark Chill

Back at the manor, Jonathan was too preoccupied to think about his servants. There had just been another battle with the Bloodlands' soldiers and many of his people (those who had returned anyway) were severely injured. He was starting to run low on soldiers. That may seem like an insensitive thought to you, dear reader, but he had to push aside his feelings to make practical decisions. He was the leader, after all. They were counting on him. And, even though he would never let anyone know, he considered himself to be held accountable for all this death and misery. But this had to happen; it was prophesized.

'You will face loss, trying to rescue those losses will cost you your destiny.'

That was what She had said, so he had to just suck it up and accept that these soldiers' lives were necessary sacrifices. Or, as Joah would tell him, collateral damage that isn't as important as the end goal they were after. Yes, their end goal. The legendary beast they would find that would ensure Jonathan's rise to greatness. My dear reader, the Elixir was never Jonathan's goal, merely a means to an end. He needed to scour the other lands of West Ryev for this beast and so, he needed to defeat the Mistress and the Master. Once he found his beast, his destiny would be fulfilled and everything would work out. It had to.

Another soldier walked past him, heading to the infirmary, bloody and bandaged and beaten, and his resolve wavered. What was he doing? These were people. Perhaps weaker, less powerful and with less ambitious goals than him, but still people. His people. They had families and friends and homes, deserved them just as much as he had once deserved them too.

Where was Joah? At times like these, when Jonathan's heart decided to remind him of its presence and his conscience began to pester him, taking him back to the little boy he once was, Joah was always there to tell him that he was being stupid, and that their plans were far too vital for him to suddenly develop guilt and a moral sense of right and wrong. A bit cruel of Joah, yes, but someone had to be willing to make the difficult decisions.

It didn't matter anyway. Joah was angry with Jonathan and Jonathan was also pretty miffed at Joah too. Why did Joah get to be so damn stubborn and not understand that Jonathan was merely looking out for him, the same way he had looked out for Jonathan all these years? Where did he get off, treating Jonathan as though he was an incompetent idiot? But still, dear reader, Jonathan did not know what to do, and was slowly feeling like the walls were closing in on him, and so he gestured to one of the soldiers resting against the wall.

"Go find Joah. Tell him I need to speak with him urgently."

She gave a quick bow and Jonathan watched her disappear up the stairs. Hopefully, Joah wouldn't take his anger out on that poor girl. Admiral Holt approached him then (Admiral Greene, the previous general of his forces, perished in the last fire, but Jonathan would not think about that, or his missing body, or his family or-) and gave him the post-battle report; the number of casualties, the number of wounded soldiers who could no longer fight, the land lost, the land destroyed. It was a pretty depressing conversation and Jonathan, not being able to handle it anymore, stiffly told Admiral Holt to give the report to Joah. Using the excuse that he needed to plan their next course of action, Jonathan locked himself in his chambers and slid down the door, pressed his knees to his chest and rocked back and forth.

Their deaths are necessary, their deaths are necessary, their deaths are necessary, their deaths are necessary, their deaths are...

That was how it was after every battle. My dear reader, I must admit I do not usually pity you, but Jonathan was quite pitiful at these moments. A grown man by your standards, but merely a child in my eyes, trying to justify Death as if he had any power over it. He knew he was being ridiculous; they were at war, he was the leader, and he was sure that neither the Mistress nor the Master were reacting the same way, and so he had to pull himself together. He needed Joah. Where is he?