I Don't (August Alsina)

I Don't, 4

August Alsina.

"Hey, August." Sarah said, wavin at me.

"Wazzam, baybeh." I nodded in ha direction, goin ta the front desk. "I gotta appointment with Dr. Ross taday at 12:30."

"Okay, I'll let her know, Mr. Alsina." The receptionist said, ringin the buzzer fa Dr. Ross. "Dr. Ross, your 12:30 is here for his appointment."

"Okay, I'm finishing up with Ms. Neal and I'll be down there to get Mr. Alsina."

"Okay."

"Ima be in the waitin area." I said as she nodded.

I made ma way inta the waitin area, sittin down on the opposite side of Sarah and ha son. Gettin the news that ma baybeh might still be alive had ma mind racin hundred miles per hour. Nobody undastood how much I missed ma baybeh. Fa six years, I been miserable and depressed because I thought I lost anotha important person in ma life. Losin Mel, I lost maself. I wasn't takin care of maself and I was in and out of the hospital fa months back ta back. I was introduced to pain killers and that fucked me up one hundred percent. Then I got into antidepressants and that completely made me lose ma mind, heart, and soul. I lost maself even more as the days went on, but I had a bright light shinin down on me. I knew it was the Lord Jesus when I met ma future wife, Sarah Marshall. Just bein around ha made me want ta be a better nigga fa ha. I was slowly piecing maself back tagether with the help of God and Sarah and fa a little bit, I was straight. The life I was livin with Sarah and Christian, I knew Mel was lookin down on me happy and I felt that. But, it took a turn fa the worse when Sarah went missin. I knew ma life was supposed ta be spent with ha by ma side and it felt like I failed. I was supposed ta protect ha and I didn't. I lost maself again when the news said she died. I'm happy as fuck ta know it's a possibility ta know she alive, but ta now know she was shot three times was fuckin with ma mental heavy. I wanted ta be a different nigga when I moved to Atlanta, but hearin this shit, Mel's crazy ass lil brotha from nola gotta make a quick ass return. Ima find all them niggas involved and dead every single one of them.

"August, are you okay?" Sarah asked, tapping me onna shoulder.

I opened ma eyes, rubbin my lips with ma index and middle finger. I shook ma head, starin at ha. "Nah I'm not, baybeh."

"Wanna talk about it? I feel bad watching you look so sad and depressed." She said, grabbin ma hands. I sighed as she started ta caress them.

Slowly takin ma hands away from ha soft grip, I shook ma head. "Nah. Not right now. I'm still feeling fucked up ova the situation."

She grabbed ma hands again, squeezin them softly. "August, I'm sorry you're going through whatever you're going through and I wish I could do something about it, but I'm happy you're here."

I nodded at ha, acknowledgin what she said, but didn't respond back. I heard ha loud and clear, but I ain't wanna answer. I honestly didn't want ta be hea. I just came because them niggas was still gone charge me fa this session. Might as well get ma money's worth.

"So guess what?" She queried, causin me ta look over at ha.

"What's up?"

Ha and Sarah just alike. Neither one of them know how and when ta shut the fuck up.

"Kevin might be able to get his treatment today." She said excitedly.

"That's what's up. I like hearin shit like that. Kinda makin ma day a bit better." I replied, bouncin ma knee.

"Thats good. I'm glad I could help brighten it, even if it's just a little."

"I 'preciate, ma." I said.