Hard Time Chapter 1

~{Hard Times Part 26}~

 There were plenty of moments the archer felt the darkness would become overwhelming. It is a sudden shadow constantly peeking over his shoulder degrading him of his existence, but the moment he allowed himself to accept Jesse's advice and guidance something changed. A golden light outlined his sun kissed skin wrapping a warm comforting Halo around Hanzo's body. It felt protecting, calm, and relaxed. Understanding that emotion and knowing it was okay to release it of it's shackles was not only freeing, but showed Hanzo it is okay to sit back and enjoy the smaller events of life again.

However, at the same time all so suddenly, it had been taken so fast. It is dangerous to live with your head in the clouds because there will come a day when the tightening ropes of reality pulls you back down to be succumb by darkness. The archers hand pulled away letting his fingertips slip from the reaches of the cowboy. How cruel would it be to become so close to happiness and have it be vanquished so evilly. The sorrow in Hanzo's eyes settled on the hand with the fingertip pulse oximeter clamped to Jesse's pointer finger. The gentle beeps nearly put him to sleep, but he pushed through with words. "So it is true, the healers have treated you well. For a moment I thought. .I thought I would lose you. I have so many questions to ask you when you wake." Hanzo whispered. "I want to know why you pushed that agent away and risked your own life to save me. Do you truly find me so valuable as a team member to let yourself get hurt? I wish I could understand what you have done. . ." His fist clenched by his sides along with the tension in his shoulder. "I-I just want to understand why you were so foolish. You are smarter than this Jesse, you could have killed yourself." A stinging sensation hit his throat making him swallow the pain down. To recompose himself, Hanzo didn't speak for a couple of minutes. His thumb came up to swipe away the tears threatening to run down his cheek. 

Jesse remained still with the machines hooked up to him. He was able to breathe on his own thankfully, so it was enlightening to see his chest rise and fall without any abnormalities. Hanzo found himself staring at the limp hand. His hand slowly hovered over McCree's keeping it held there for around a minute. It was as if Jesse's hand created some sort of weak positive charge to pulling Hanzo's closer, but all the while letting there be a safe distance. Though, the electric field was broken how Hanzo extended out his finger tips to let them brush gingerly against the rough skin. A small touch is all he needed to feel a bit of heat transfer from the contact. However, it wasn't enough to sate any span of satisfaction. Boldly, the Shimada broke atomic barriers curling his hand under McCrees holding it; feeling it; treasuring its warmth. 

Staring at the contact, Hanzo remained processing this type of emotion. It was different from the rest. This one got his heart pumping—and not from anxiety. This is a type of emotions that unlocked a protective nature in Hanzo—just like back on the ship. It was like some sort of drug that impaired his thoughts, think irrationally, and crave more of. "Most of all. . .I wish to understand this feeling you have imprinted on me. There was a time when I felt this conflicted, and that is when I hurt my brother. I love him, he is my brother, but this type of love is not the same. It is one outside the bounds of family; outside of friendship." Hanzo let out a deep exhale. "Jesse." His thumb ran across the cowboys knuckles softly. "Rest well." The warm heat left as Hanzo turned around the leave. There was no need to extend his stay now that he had seen Jesse and knew he'd be okay now, but a part of him wanted to stay. Though he knew it wouldn't be wise to risk being seen. 

Letting go of Jesse's hand, Hanzo turned around leaving the others side. Once again he stealthily found his way out and headed back towards his room. Inside of the break room, Ana smiled sipping her tea while she read her book. "Ah young love." She may be old and underestimated a lot, but if there is something the team knew about her it's that she is not deaf or blind. 

Throughout the night the base filled with the sound of white noise coming from the air conditioning units. A loud hum outside came from the intense buzzing of the communications towers whenever a signal came through. A soft humming mixed in with the noises from the distance. Just outside of Winston's office and communications tower was a lighthouse not too far from headquarters. It's beaming light would come by every round it made as it spun. The sky was filled with twinkling stars just past the stray clouds forming in clumps. Just as the animals of the night sought out shelter for sleep, so did the agents.