Your Natural Hatred

Chapter 8

I sat on Ray's couch, eating his snacks as I watched him play with his daughter.

"So then, like, we're just cuddling on his couch," I said. "And he's the one who stated in the first place that he wanted an only physical relationship. But yet, here he is making it so much more than that. I think this making amends thing will go a lot better than I thought. I don't think I'll be here for much longer and if I don't get a chance to say it, I just wanna say thank you for believing in me and helping me with everything."

"Of course," Ray said. "Don't worry about it, you're my friend and I will help you with anything."

I smiled, watching Valentina paint Ray's nails purple.

"When are you seeing Frank again?" He asked.

I shrugged, glancing through my phone. I opened Frank's story and found out he was at some party. It was some video at a rager, he was dancing in a crowd, making out with some girl.

"Fuck," I muttered, jealousy boiling up inside me before I looked at Valentina. "Sorry, but how am I supposed to get Frank when he won't even admit his sexuality? He's always out here sleeping with other girls. How am I supposed to get him all to myself?"

"It's going to take time, Gerard," Ray said. "Admitting your sexuality is really hard, especially for someone who has as much internalized homophobia as Frank. You just have to wait until he's ready to admit it and accept it."

"It's really hard, though," I said. "He's at some party getting felt up by all these girls. He's so much more different alone when I just have him in my arms. I don't get how he can sleep with girls, too. He's gay."

"In this world he might not be gay, he may only be bisexual," Ray said. "You never know."

"I guess you're right," I muttered. "It's just weird seeing him look and act so different. It's just not the Frank that I'm used to. I'm sorry, I feel like I'm being dramatic but I miss him a lot. I miss having him as only mine, not sharing him with other girls. Especially not Jamia. In my world, Jamia is this sweet little closeted bi girl and a close friend. She would never hit on Frank, though."

I laid down on the couch with a heavy sigh.

"I could never really imagine you being a teen dad in my world," I said. "You just never had that much of an interest in kids. Or girls, for that matter. You liked comic books more than girls, you're a huge nerd."

"I couldn't imagine life without my daughter, she's the greatest thing to ever happen to me," he said.

I went home when it got late, going up to my bedroom. I laid there for a while, looking at my feed when there was a knock on my door. Frank came in, locking the door behind him before straddling my hips.

"How many girls did you sleep with tonight?" I asked.

"What?" Frank asked, his smile dropping.

"You heard me," I said.

Frank shrugged. "There were just these two girls I slept with."

"Let me guess, you had a threesome with them," I said.

"What does it matter?" Frank asked, running his hands over my chest. "I'm here with you now and I've been wanting you all day, been wanting to ride you until my legs hurt."

"I don't like sharing you, Frank," I said. "I want you, I want to make us official."

"Yeah, that's not gonna happen," he denied. "That's not part of our deal."

"You also said emotions weren't part of it but you seemed to have redacted that," I said.

"I actually enjoy being your friend," he said. "But that's it. We're only friends with benefits. We can't have a romantic relationship. I don't even like you romantically."