Short
Nathan:
"Is he okay?" "What's wrong?" "Just sick, right?" Questions were fired.
Nano, Kev, and I had just stepped out of the exit doors to the group waiting for us.
How long had it been? It seemed hours to me. This isn't everyday news. Is that how my Mom felt finding out about my younger sister and I? Or did, maybe, our dad have us? Was this genetic? Or was I the damned in this family?
I'm having a child. A child I've claimed as my own and I'm calling it damned. Was that right? I was tired. I needed to sleep on this.
"I'm tired." I said.
Acting as my personal bodyguard and not the whole group's guard, I was led away from the boys by Kev towards the hospital exit leaving Nano to make up an excuse.
"They're going to find out sooner or later. You can't hide it forever." Kev said.
One of his hands was behind my back, the other in front clearing a path for us.
"I'll tell them when I'm ready." I said.
We walked out the door, back into the van. Kev slid in first and then grabbed my hands into his softly as though I was breakable and helped me in.
I didn't protest in his actions, but it was strange. He's never treated me or any of us like this before.
Does he actually care about me or is it just because of it?
I heard my bandmates coming out of the exit along with my manager so I turned my head, unable to look at them. Nano slid in next to me making my body flanked with protection. I felt eyes on me, but I avoided all contact by looking down.
This wasn't right.
-
Max was still out by the time we had returned giving me the room to myself. I locked the door and lay on my bed. I lifted my shirt.
This was the first time I looked at my stomach without disgust lately. My look towards it was more of curiosity.
I roamed my fingers across the top, slightly tickling myself. I felt nothing, but that one feeling I've been feeling a lot. That feeling of needing a toilet. I wasn't going to make it, but I made it to our door chunking up there instead.
"Aw. Why did I have to room with him?" Max asked.
The door had opened.
People were coming in.
One figure from the back was quick to come to my aid. His arms swooped around my middle and back leading me inside the bathroom, around my new creation to the toliet.
"I can't keep doing this. This isn't even the morning." I whispered.
"The doctor offered abortion." Nano said.
"You know I can't do that. I'd never murder." I said.
"You're going to have to do this for awhile then." Nano said.
"I know." I whispered.
He lifted me up gently, cleaned my chin off, flushed the remains in the toliet, and walked me to my bed past my bandmates.
"I'm not sleeping in here with that stench." Max spoke to Nano.
Nano set me down, allowing Jay to tuck me in and turned to Max.
"Someone will come in in a couple minutes." Nano said.
"I'm can't afford to get sick right now. What does he even have?" Max asked.
I was curious myself what Nano had told them.
"Food poisoning." Nano said.
Food poisoning wasn't the best cover story since this had been reoccurring for four months. Month one I had felt nothing. I didn't even know up until now that someone was living inside of me.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you get food poisoning. Don't cry." Jay said.
Cry?
I reached a hand up to my cheek feeling tears drip down my face. I pulled the covers down and sat up.
"It's okay Jay. I'm kinda hungry now." I said.
"Don't you have food poisoning?" Max asked.
"He should eat something light. Why don't you boys take him somewhere. " Nano said.
This felt weird. Having a silent conversation through eye contact with Nano. His eyes stuck my middle whilst I got up gently.
"I ate at the hospital with Jay." Siva said.
"Hospital food is crap." I said.
"It was good." Jay said.
"I'll go." Tom said.
"Already ate." Max said.
"Settled. Go with Tom, Nathan. Call if you're sick again." Nano said.
-
"I don't think this is what Nano meant by light." Tom said.
We had bought McDonald's and now sat in a small ice cream shop. I only got french fries from McDonald's and a small bowl of vanilla ice cream from here. I dipped my fries in my ice cream receiving a weirded out look from Tom.
"It's good." I said.
He had gotten a burger and fries, but nothing from the parlor. The parlor was small, no Baskin-Robbins, and the only people here were the two workers and us.
"Did you really have food poisoning?" Tom asked.
I dipped another fry in my ice cream and didn't answer.
"You didn't." Tom said.
I kept a hand under the table near my stomach, but on my thigh.
"It's not something bad right?" Tom asked.
My hand made it's way up to my stomach where I looked down once and to Tom's waiting eyes.
"Nathan. Tell me. Please." Tom begged.
I wasn't one to keep secrets.
"I don't want to say it. I want to tell you sll, but I'm scared." I said.
"Nath." Tom said.
I looked down taking out my phone. I waved it to Tom.
With shakey hands I typed. I typed it all. What I am. That I didn't know who. What was..inside me.
-
