M (5) Nathan
M (6) Kayla
Nathan:
I watched Jay walk back and forth trying to pick out a place for our first date. All the stuff he had planned was ruined because of Shocker, but he reassured me that Shocker was more important and he didn't want either of us hurt. Shocker was important and Jay needed to hurry up because we only had so much time left.
I had to go see Doctor Reed and probably Jeffrey and go on a date with a bandmate. That doesn't seem like a lot, but Shocker and I are at month 5. That means 4 months to go or maybe less. I has one bandmate who doesn't know about Shocker and I want to tell him, but something about Max is weird. I can't explain it, but I don't want to be near him. At the same time, I wanted him near me. I'm with Jay...? I think. I don't know. He only said he liked me exactly 1 week ago. Were we together or are we together after the first date? Why was this so awkward now?
"Sound good?" Jay asked.
I looked back up at him confused.
"I was babbling for so long your not paying attention? I said how about a picnic? We can talk, chow down some food, there might be some kids there. We can watch how the kid interact with their parents." Jay said.
"Oh shit." I said.
"Nath?" Jay asked.
He stopped pacing to come to my side. He placed a hand over my chest, hand pointed down to my bump and the other over my forehead. I pushed both his hands away, but not before I used one to push myself up. He looked at me still waiting for an answer.
"Is it Shocker?" Jay asked.
I shook my head no and grabbed the top of my shirt to fan myself. He tried to pull me down to sit again, but I pushed him off.
"I didn't tell my family about all this." I said.
What would they think of me and Shocker? Surely they would still love me, us. I sat back down to think it over. They would think I'm a freak. I already loved Shocker. She, he, it was mine and I was keeping it. Who was more important? My young, not even born child or my younger sister?
"I'm so confused." I said.
"They'll love Shocker." Jay said.
"What if, I have to choose?" I asked.
"Between your family and the baby?" Jay asked.
I nodded trying to block my mind of it. I didn't want to choose loving them all. Was it bad that I already loved Shocker as much as I loved my Mom and Jess?
"I don't want to go out." I said.
I saw Jay's face fall a bit, but regain composure. I was causing all of this.
"I'm sorry. I'll still go with you." I said.
"If your not well enough don't stress over it. We can replan." Jay said.
"I don't know if this is a good idea at all." I said.
The composure left.
"What do you mean?" Jay asked.
"You said I was funny, smart, and beautiful, but I'm having a child. This is new to me and not just the having the child part. The weird part is, I didn't know I could. I didn't know I could bring life into the world. You didn't know, hell the other's didn't know, I didn't know. I don't want to drag you into this. I'm not giving Shocker up for adoption. It's staying with me. The band? I don't know right now. I don't want you to feel obligated to help me, you could go out and get anymore girl, or guy you want. You don't have to be in this with me. We can pretend this never happened." I said.
