Letter 2 U

Part 20 - The doctor

Silence fell between the two band mates. Jackson saw a tear slip from his dongsaeng's eyes, but his expression remained impassive. He was completely sure the singer wouldn't seriously harm him, but the rapper wished he would, after all, he felt like he deserved it.

"Go ahead then, if that makes you feel better." The Chinese eyed him with worry and resignation. He regretted every single bad decision he had made. He should have never brought Mark to that brothel, he should've never kept quiet about it, and he shouldn't have treated Jinyoung so unfairly. Blackmailing the younger had gotten out of hand. It wasn't right to put so much pressure on him, but he didn't think things through before it was too late. All along, he knew Jinyoung wouldn't be able to let go of Mark, nor tell his parents about his condition, and seeing how the Korean was struggling with the whole situation made him feel like the cruelest person alive. The rapper believed Mark had problems, but he refused to admit, for a long time, that he himself was one of them. Jackson couldn't deny that he had felt a cruel satisfaction when he thought about breaking up the MarkJin couple. He liked his fellow member Jinyoung, he really did, but he didn't like Mark's new boyfriend, and those two happened to be the same person. The Chinese still had to come to terms with the fact that the disturbing kind of love he felt for Mark was his own downfall.

"Soon. But I'm curious about something. How can you live with yourself?" the singer's voice was low, but undoubtedly firm. The scorching ire he felt at that moment didn't compare to any ill feeling he had ever felt before in his entire life. Right there, before him, was the man who had hurt his boyfriend so profoundly, and he knew that after obtaining that knowledge, he had to do something about it. That 'something' was what held him back. Was he capable of murder? He used to have a high regard for that person. Jinyoung used to admire him to point of being envious of his charisma, his talent and good looks. In many occasions, he wished he had the rapper's unwavering confidence, boldness and sociability. It was hard to believe that his own boyfriend was over him, because the Korean felt that he would never be as good as the Chinese. Jackson Wang's apparent almightiness was the main reason for his insecurities. He never imagined Mark's heart would be totally his, since the American had a taste of the rapper once. Nevertheless, all those feelings were immediately deconstructed the moment he witnessed how Mark writhed in pain in front of him hours earlier.

"I get by. But I won't last long if he dies." Jackson confessed bluntly, as he feared the outcome of that surgery.

"I can assure you that he won't. He's strong enough to pull through. As for you, I'm not sure how long a doctor will take to stop the bleeding of your femoral vein." Jinyoung raised his voice a bit, but soon smiled without any emotion as he pressed the fork into the other's thigh again. Entertaining the idea of Mark's death was not an option for him, but he wondered how Jackson's death would make him feel. His thoughts were abruptly interrupted when a lady approached their table and took a seat beside Jackson.

"And how do you plan to find his artery? With a fork?" She smiled politely at the two. A startled Jinyoung frowned at her sudden question. Jackson seemed surprised, but he regarded her before the singer could say anything else.

"Dr. Lee, how come you are here?" the Chinese asked, as he got up from his chair and bowed at her.

"Do you know her?" the singer looked annoyed. He didn't want anyone to distract him from his murderous intentions. He knew that delaying that moment was not an option since he didn't want Mark to change his mind for him later.

"I am his and Mark's therapist. I came to check on one of my patients that was brought to the ER. I heard the news about your friend and decided to stop by. I'm here to give Jackson all the support he needs." She sounded very professional. The rapper seemed genuinely satisfied to see her, while Jinyoung rolled his eyes impatiently.