"I've found it," she said as she looked up, seeing the sky of a starry night.
"Hmm, found what?" he asked, opening his only visible eye, looking at her forlorn expression.
"The reason why everyone chooses not to stay." she replied.
"What is it th...
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"and in the backseat when you asked me "is the sadness everlasting?" i pulled you closer, looked at you and said "love, I think it is" "
___
Dazai Osamu couldn't help but think about the recent events that has lead to this specific situation.
He lost a bet to [Last Name] [Name], as a reward, the latter wanted to spend the night with him watching movies.
By this point of time, Dazai learned to disregard the Mafia and anything else correlating to the topic.
By this point of time, they were only two, teenage souls, tangled in a whirlwind of a chaotic tornado that one would call life.
Tangled up in a mess they shouldn't even be aware or part of.
[Name] was laying across the couch, her head in Dazai's lap, her back to the boy as Dazai sat facing the television.
The girl turned her back to the television and faced Dazai. Dazai was pulled back to reality as she faced him.
"Please don't make it hurt..." [Name] said, her voice barely audible, just above a whisper.
Dazai felt his cheeks become pink at this statement. His mind going on other places.
"Not that, you pervert!" [Name] said as she smacked Dazai on the head, finally sitting beside him.
"What then?" Dazai asked, looking at her with his eye that wasn't in bandages.
"Wen you leave me, that is." [Name] said with a bittersweet expression.
"Where did you get the idea that I'd leave you here?" Dazai asked, lying through his teeth.
He fully knew it was something he could never hide from the girl. He knew he'd leave one way or another. It was something inevitable and it is coming up fast.
"Am I not enough? Not worth living for?" She asked.
This question caught Dazai off guard, his eyes widening a fraction.
"I- Why are you speaking nonesense." Dazai sternly said, looking at [Name] with a firm expression.
It wasn't really the case. Dazai would gladly stay for [Name]'s sake, if she asked him to. Dazai would do anything for the aforementioned girl, only if she asked him to.
For him, everyone would leave this life eventually. Sooner or later, one of them would die. Preferably him.
When Dazai first met the girl, he was drawn by her. He didn't know how much he was getting in to when he got closer.
Now, Dazai Osamu is torn apart by his mind and his heart. His mind tells him that there'd be one event, in the coming future where he'd defect from Port Mafia. He knew that even if she asked [Name] to go with him, she wouldn't budge.
He'd do anything for [Name], yet he can't seem to see that she would do the same. That's how Dazai knew he fell, and he fell hard.
His heart tells another story. He wants to stay, in Port Mafia, with [Name], doing missions. Something not out of their ordinary routine no matter how fucked up that might be.
[Last Name] [Name] stared at Dazai Osamu in amusement as she saw him get mind boggled over her words.
Her woes and problems are forgotten in his presence and that's what makes her like the suicidal maniac. She'd gladly follow him anywhere for a fact, yet there's one thing she couldn't ever do.
[Name] just can't up and leave Port Mafia. Port Mafia has been her shelter, no matter how fucked up the circumstance may be. A shelter, with food, where people treat her with respect, a high ranking status? It was all she could ask for in life and she was contented.
Yet, if Dazai asked her anything, she'd do anything. That might include thinking of leaving Port Mafia with him.
[Name] would gladly say yes, if he asked her. Dazai never did. [Name] let out a sigh as she got up form Dazai's sofa.
"Well, I'm starting to get sleepy. I guess I should head home now. Thank you for today, though." [Name] said, bidding her farewell.
"Hey, not so fast!" Dazai exclaimed as he, too, stood up and flattened his coat. "I'll take you home."
"You know I could just make myself a petal and go to my house right?" [Name] asked.
"Yeah, but what's the fun in that?" Dazai asked. [Name] smirked, knowing that in all honestly, the male just wanted to spend more time with her.
"Sure, sure, hurry up I'm getting so sleepy." [Name] said as she rubbed her eyes. It was one of the rarer times where she gets to sleep before the clock strikes midnight, she might as well cherish it.
Dazai grabbed his keys and locked the door from the outside. He wrapped an arm around [Name] as she shivered. Not knowing if it's the weather of a cold crisp night, or Dazai's warmth that he gave out.
"I like nights like this..." [Name] trailed off with a smile.
"As do I." Dazai said with a smile as he looked at [Name]. A pair of [Eye Color] colored eyes stared right back at him with a shine that melted his heart.
He's so in love with this girl and it hurts like hell.
Just in time, the taxi cab that [Name] called arrived in front of Dazai's place. Dazai opened the the door for [Name] to enter. Once she was in, he entered through the other door.
The ride home was silent until Dazai pulled [Name] closer to him and let her head rest on his shoulders.
"It's okay, you can sleep. I'm right here." With that, [Name] drifted off to sleep.
Dazai stared out of the window, watching the scenery pass him by. Years ago this wouldn't be the scenario for him. It was most likely that if he had not met [Name], he'd be trying to commit suicide and probably fail.
Yet things were different now, he has something to look out for, to maybe even care for and cherish. He has something worth holding on for a little while.
Dazai could do nothing but sigh. He can't say that he'll make her feel completely free from her worries as there are nothing as the word certain in the lifestyle they're living. The least Dazai could hope for was her trust in him. Her trust when he told her she'll never be lonely.
Dazai gently shook the girl awake as he noticed a familiar landmark that was close to the Port Maria's building.
"[Name], what are we exactly?" Dazai asked, in hopes of clearing out his thoughts that were all over the place.
"Hmm..." [Name] wondered, staring out of the windows. "We're two punch drunk souls, all tangled in the wind." She said, as vague as always.
"Now, answer my question." [Name] said finally facing Dazai. "Is the sadness every lasting?"
Dazai fiddled with his bandages as he thought.
It kind of had some irony in it. Asking a suicidal man if the sadness they both were feeling deep inside would last forever.
Once he had the answer, he pulled [Name] closer, looked at her with the most sincere eyes any person ever saw from him, and said,
