Feelgood // Nikki Sixx X Tommy Lee

Chapter 9 - Up In The Air

Tommy - 

The ride to the show was quiet for us. Vince was the loudest of us all, stewing about one of his escapades from last night. Other than that, just a bunch of small talk and chatter. Nikki seemed to not want to be part of anything, and turned himself away from Fred and pretty much the rest of us. Upon arrival, we were escorted by security to a single dressing room. It’s not our preference, but it happens sometimes at these smaller venues. We all seem a little out of sorts tonight, so it’s not a big deal. We’re all pretty buried in our own thoughts. Nikki seems overly sedated. It’s not good for our show. I think that it’s time to pull out the blow. A nice pick-me-up for everyone. We do our lines. Even Mick did one tonight. I think everyone has a little more of a vibe now. We hoot and holler a bit, and bust on one another. We’re definitely not up to our usual level of rowdiness, but it’s a start. Vince and Mick leave. I’m sure to get away from the dullness of the dressing room, and to liven up their own game. Of course I’m left with Nikki. I know that I told myself that I didn’t want to talk to him today, but I’m feeling a little sorry for him. He looks so downtrodden today. I don’t know why I feel anything for him. He never feels any sort of sympathy for me, but I’m just a different type of person. I figure I’ll just ask if he wants to walk around with me, maybe we can go watch the support band. Something nice and simple. He needs to fucking cheer up, and snap out of it.

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Our performance was OK tonight. We seemed a little out of sync, but I don’t think that the crowd noticed. They seemed as loud and as wild as ever. I’m glad for that. Nikki barely drank from the Jack bottle after his solo during tonight’s performance. It’s part of our act. Nikki completes his bass solo, then tumbles down to the foot of the stage, lays lifeless there, Vince coaxes him up with whiskey, Nikki splashes some out to the audience, he downs a bunch, and then hands it off to me to finish whatever is left in the bottle. Which meant that tonight I had to finish off quite a bit, more than I normally do. And Vince won’t let it go, as he shouts a play-by-play into the mic. I have to finish every fucking drop. I don’t know if Nikki was trying to fuck with me, or if he was already at his limit. He and I drink so much that it would actually be a rare occurrence for one of us pass out from alcohol consumption, but if it were to ever happen, the stage would be the worst place for one of us to go down. We’ve both seen Mick stumble around the stage drunk. He’s fallen a few times. It’s pretty hilarious to see. Nikki and I kind of pride ourselves on being able to handle it better. But, I guess we should be careful not to push it too far. Lemme tell you, I think I had an extra drum or two in front of me for awhile tonight; I was seeing double. 

It’s time to leave the concert venue for the airport. I think that we’re all looking forward to a new city center to explore. Heather will be meeting us on the road in a few days while we’re at this next city. I hope to have some better memories there. We have a show tomorrow night. Then a day off, followed by concerts 2 nights in a row. After that, we fly to another city hub. I think that we have 3 or 4 shows around that city. We take off one more time for a single show somewhere in the middle of nowhere. Then home for about 2 weeks. Christmas break. I love doing our job, but I just can’t wait to spend time at home with my wife, like a normal couple.

The jet ride is quiet. Surprisingly, I think that most everyone is sleeping. Maybe we’re losing our edge. I’m not sure if this is such a good thing. It’s certainly not a Motley thing. We’re like a bunch of fucking grandpas on tour suddenly. I think we all just need a break. Or maybe it just feels quiet because Nikki is quiet. I saw him writing in his notebook for awhile. He just came back from the bathroom. I know what he was doing in there. He seems to be at peace now. I’m content reading a Hollywood scene rag. Nothing particularly noteworthy. No gossip about me in this one, that’s always a plus. I’m fading out. Goodnight.

Nikki  - 

I played like shit tonight. I felt weak and dizzy. I was actually a little nervous about gulping down my usual amount of Jack during the show. At best, I would have thrown it all up. At worst, I think that there’s a possibility I could have passed out. I don’t even want to know what kind of fall out would come from that. Fucking press would have a field day. Not that I care. The damn press always has a field day with us. 

I think I need food. Or maybe I need to lay off the drugs and get a fucking life, but I’m just going to continue to tell myself that my dizziness is definitely from me not eating. I helped myself to some of the food on the backstage buffet table. Not a meal’s worth, but maybe enough to give me some energy. I’ll eat better tomorrow, I tell myself. 

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I want to sit by myself on the jet. Everyone seems a little tired and out of it. We did just have nearly a week’s worth of shows with no day off. It’s been a bit of grind for all of us. One more show tomorrow night, and then finally a day off. It seems like a gift coming from the gods. We all need that day off. I don’t know why Doc allowed the promoters to scheduled so many back to back concerts. He always tells us that it’s what we signed up for, and that it’s no big deal, since he says that we only have to work 2 hours a day. That’s complete bullshit and he knows it.

I settle into my seat and take my journal out. It’s stuff about tonight’s show, the daily grind, and a bunch of other random thoughts. Maybe a few inspired lyrics. But, I’m being called by my ‘lady’ to meet her in the bathroom. I can’t wait. After tonight, I deserve this shot. 

Damn, I feel like 100 bucks right now. Thank you heroin for always pulling out of the weeds. You never let me down. I settle back into my seat, happy and content. All is good with the world. Goodnight.

**I might publish chapter 10 later or in a day or 2. Chapter 11 is long, and don't want to do a double chapter post with that one, as I typically do. Guess I'll see. I finished my 3rd book. It's the longest of the 3. I like where I ended. **