Falling for the Enemy || Captain America || Book 1

Chapter 22: Tony Stark AKA Love Expert

“And the sleeping beauty is awake.”

“Clam it Stark,” I grumble, placing a hand out and feeling around for the box of Fruit Loops with my eyes closed shut, my head ache throbbing like I’ve just been thrown off the Bifrost then hit with mjolnir at least twenty times. “How’d you get your hands on my secret alcohol stash?” he asks, sipping on his vodka glass idly waiting for an answer.

“Not so secret,” I muffle, finally opening my eyes to find it and snatch a bowl form the cupboard tiredly yet aggressively.  “Why were you drinking?” he continues to question, like a little boy asking his parents why the world goes ‘round then continuing to pester them with more questions afterwards. “Why don’t you ever shut up?” I fire back, swinging the fridge door open then slamming it shut once the carton of milk is in my hand. “Because I am a curious and handsome fellow that requires answers to the unknown now why were you drinking and why are you in a pissy mood?” he replies calmly, actually smiling and grinning as if this is all some kind of joke.

“None of your damn business metal head, why are you drinking at 9:00am in the morning?” I snap at him, some of the milk pouring onto the counter. I give an aggravated sigh, snatching the cleaning towel and wiping the milk form the marble counter irritatedly. “Because it’s 3:00 in the afternoon somewhere else now, are you going to tell me why my favourite assassin is upset or am I going to have to use my amazing detective skills and squeeze it out of you?”

I cock a questioning eyebrow at his statement, skeptically criticizing “Favourite assassin?” He nods then nervously peers around the kitchen corners, whispering “Don’t tell Tasha or Legolas.” I manage to chuckle weakly at his antics, yet I wipe the grin clean off my face and spoon the first mouthful of Fruit loops into my mouth. “Okay you’re usually a lot more fun, what is it?” he gives in, progressively becoming more and more miffed. I attempt to ignore him yet us being the only two in the room makes it a whole lot more challenging. As I’m about to place the next spoonful in my mouth, he knocks the teaspoon away, the silver plated cutlery clanking against the marble counter and ringing through the silent air. I open my mouth to tell him off – quite colourfully might I add – but he’s already grabbed my face, one hand cupping either cheek and staring my hard in the eyes. I swear if he kisses me I’m going to vomit first then throw him off the tower afterwards.

Yet he doesn’t budge, not an inch. He narrows his gaze at me, his eyes scrutinizing and deciphering what dilemma is currently making me act this way. I mentally scoff at this; he seriously thinks he can figure out what’s wrong with the world’s greatest assassin? Please, not even Natasha Romanoff—

“You have boy problems,” he announces, clapping his hands and marvelling at his success. I stare at him baffled, mouth agape and eyes wide in surprise. “How the hell—” I start yet he cuts me off with a single and swift hand motion “Please, I may not be an excellent detective – who am I kidding of course I am – however I’m not as good as Tasha or Fury or any SHIELD agent when it comes to interrogating and areas of that expertise but I know about love and boy problems and—”

“Who said it was love?” I defend, snatching the teaspoon and aiming to at least finish my breakfast before having this conversation. It’s what, 9:00 in the morning? I preferably don’t want to be talking about boys this early in the morning – or at all for that matter – much less with Tony Stark who has no expertise in this area even though he claims to be an expert. He’s more so a guy you want to go to if you’re planning to have a series of one night stands or wanting to experience sex for the first time. Me? I don’t need either, I’ve had my fair share of one night stands and I really don’t crave them as much as he does, I haven’t even endured that kind of pleasure in…. one and a half years? Two years? I guess I don’t really keep track, but I know it’s been at least a year, most likely more.