A Love Supreme: The Story of Donghua Dijun and Bai Fengjiu

Midnight Confessions

Fengjiu got under the blanket, pulled her knees to her chest and leaned against the wall. She looked at Donghua as though she were chastising an unruly child, and in royal queen fashion said, "In the past, I lowered myself to pay you back for saving my life. I fell in love with you, and did so much to prove myself. Everything I did was in vain. You told me we're not meant to be, and pushed me away. You did it again after you admitted you liked me. The outcome remains the same. The name of the man I love, is not written on the Rock of Three Incarnations. The man I love, can't return my love, because a boulder resides in the place where his heart ought to be. I am no ordinary woman. I am a queen with responsibilities. I have neither the luxury nor the energy to exert my efforts on futile or insignificant things,"she concluded. Afterwards, she stretched her legs and folded her hands.

Donghua had long since finished his tea, and was still holding the teacup, as she fell silent. He looked at Fengjiu in disbelief. No one had ever spoken to him that way before. Ever. He saw her stand up to others before, but not like this. She was now a woman who didn't mince words, and recognized her power. As he listened, he felt her pain and disappointment. Her words were like a mirror, making him reflect on his past actions towards her, cutting him to pieces all at once. He knew she had every right to feel as she did. He understood he needed to fix it. Although Donghua wasn't a very effective communicator when it came to emotions, tonight he would try for both their sakes.

He stood up to place the teacup on the nightstand next to her bed and said, "Sorry", and sat on the edge of the bed next to her. " I didn't mean to hurt you. There are things that I want to share with you, and I hope it will clear up any misunderstandings past and present. To survive, I've relied more on logic and reason, than emotions. It's been my strength and defense mechanism to combat all sorts of mendacity that exists in the world. Back then, the world was in total disarray. Although you didn't see it, I fought countless wars to restore order and establish peace. So many, in fact I had little time to focus on anything else. So, I made the decision not to put my name on the Rock, to perform my duties without bias or emotional entanglements. My reputation and legacy has been established on these principles, as you've come to understand", and paused to look gauge her reaction.

"Go on", she said with a blank face.

Donghua paused to select his words before continuing his confession. "When we met, I thought it was a coincidence that I saved your life. As I saw more of you over the years, something inside changed. No one has ever done the things you've done for me. I have lived for hundreds of thousands of years and no one has ever made me feel the way you do. The decision to push you away was made out of logic and my own selfish reasons. Believe me, it was the most difficult and excruciating thing I've ever done. I thought if enough time passed, maybe you'd find happiness and live well. Tonight, I realized I can't stay away any longer. I came to ask for your forgiveness. Xiao Bai, will you forgive me?." The purple robe fell effortlessly into place, as he stood up and returned to sit at the foot of the bed. When he looked at Fengjiu, she appeared to be asleep. The light from the night pearl was faint.

She looked like an angel as the light captured her delicate features, he thought. He sat and thought about what to do. He was about to leave when she said with her eyes still closed, "Who told you to leave?" "I thought you were asleep, and thought it best to leave so you can rest", he replied. "I am awake. I heard everything. I was just resting my eyes. I have some questions to ask you." "Will you answer mine first ?",he pleaded. "My decision to forgive you is contingent on your answers to my questions", she replied as her eyes opened.

He gave her the furrowed brow expression, realizing he was in no position to make demands, and replied, "Fair enough". The girl had indeed outwitted him, for now, he thought. "You talked about your reasons to push me away, what were those "selfish reasons"?"