Abnormal (L x reader)

24. Hope

Kerrick sat next to you on your double bed as you worked, noticing that you were acting strange. It would be hard for others to say that because you were always acting strange, but because Kerrick knew you, he could tell that you weren't acting how you usually would. Your body was tense even though you were in a safe environment and with a friend nonetheless.

He took a peek over your shoulder and watched you write a report, one you needed completed for a kidnapping case which you had been put in charge of. Kerrick saw you dropping all of your work and heading to Japan as an idiotic thing to do, something that someone with a logical mind would never do. But he was surprised by just how quickly you were ready to leave everything and head back home, back to a country you had experienced most of your hardships. He had heard all of the stories from your youth and wondered how you were able to come back, not having any PTSD when it came to things which any other normal person would freak out over.

But he always had to remember that you weren't a normal person, not that he was either. Your reactions were not that expected of anyone else, you were unpredictable. And even now, he wouldn't be able to decipher what was going on without speaking to you, but he was sure that something had happened.

You were weird, but were acting weirder than your normal self.

"What happened?" he asked suddenly. His voice caught your attention but you didn't take your eyes off of the screen of the lap top that sat comfortably in your lap. You hum in response, not knowing what else to say. Internally, you were going over the L kissing incident in your mind but you weren't sure if you were ready to tell anyone, even if they were your closest friend.

After receiving your half-assed response, he heaved a sigh and lent even further back into the bed. He was a lot heavier than you and his movement caused the whole bed to shake. This caused you to type a bunch of unnecessary letters into your report, those needing to be deleted.

Kerrick watched carefully as you completely dismissed what he had said, not even giving it a second thought. Letting out another sigh, he shook the bed once again, this time on purpose. You tried to ignore it, but it was really messing with your typing. Even so, you continued, putting up with his stubbornness with your own.

"Hey, I know those drawings mean a lot to you but I noticed that you're acting differently. Is there something wrong?" His voice was softer and a lot less demanding than his first attempt, this gave you the confidence to at least reply. Turning your head, you met his gaze.

"There's nothing wrong with the drawings, Kerrick, this isn't about Akio," you told him, hoping he would leave it at that. Unfortunately for you, he was very nosy when it came to your personal life. Because he knew you so well, he was keen on knowing everything that was going on with you, in a respective and caring way. He only wanted the best for you, knowing how your mind worked in situations where you were confused.

"Then who is it about?" he pushed. He was sure that there was a person involved, it was always another person that started conflict with you, whether that be directly through their words or unconsciously. You had a habit of overthinking when it came to personal things, this mannerism thankfully not affecting your work at all. Usually you were able to keep a level head but there were a very small percentage of things which caused only confusion and anxiety in your mind.

You hesitated as you wondered whether or not you should admit what happened to Kerrick. Taking some time to think, you tried to apply logic to the situation.

Kerrick was very good with people and always had a way with his words. You had picked up a lot of his communication techniques for working undercover and they worked so you trusted in his ability to work well with other people. He also had experience in terms of romantic relations and a huge like for romance whether that book in the form of book, movie or song.

"It's about L," you forced yourself to say. Out of everyone you knew, Kerrick was the safest and most knowledgeable when it came to this time type of thing. The problem was that you were nervous, still going over what had happened that previous day in your head. You remembered the way L touched your face, his hands warm and gentle. His fingers traced over your features carefully as if you would be damaged if handled you too roughly. Then the feeling of his lips against yours...

You had never been kissed as you, (Y/n) Yagami. You had only been kissed characters you had created, figments of you ever-expanding imagination. Those people weren't real, those kisses weren't real. But the question that lingered on your mind was if that kiss was real.

L had acted as if it hadn't happened at all, so did that mean it didn't exist. If something happens but there was no one to remember it, did it ever truly happen. The only thing holding your memory of the kiss to reality was your belief in it to be true. L did kiss you and there was no way you were going to forget that so soon. There were so many questions which you wished the answers for, but it didn't seem like you were getting closer to any kind of conclusion.

"What happened with L?" Kerrick asked, sitting up to show his interest in your words. Lowering the lid of your laptop, you slid it onto the bed and turned to face your friend. With eyes resting on your hands, fingers laced together, you heaved a deep breath in hopes of calming your nerves. But Kerrick was your closest friend, it wasn't as big of a deal as your mind was making it out to be.

"L kissed me," you admitted, taking a glance up at the man before you. His eyes were wide in shock, his face remaining like that before your words properly registered with him. Then he did what any best friend would do, yanked you into a suffocating hug. The pull nearly knocked the wind out of you but the embrace was worth it. You melted into the hug and sighed.

"I didn't expect this reaction," you muttered, Kerrick pulling back, his hands remaining on your upper arms.

"Are you kidding me? He kissed you, that has to mean something," he pressed, his giddy expression making you avert your eyes. He was getting a little too excited for what you saw as only a kiss.

"He acts like it didn't happen so don't worry about it."

"Don't tell me to stop worrying because I won't. And he's probably only doing that because he doesn't know how to feel about you. He's a lot like you, he's smart but when it comes to social situations he's completely clueless." You kept your eyes on your lap, not wanting to overthink the kiss. You had come to terms with the idea of L liking you in a romantic sense but weren't sure how you felt at all. There was nothing wrong in your eyes about L, he was different and if anything you liked his quirks. It was the things that people found weird about him that you liked the most.

You had come to terms with just being fond of each other and being friends, but the idea of a proper relationship had now come up due to the kiss. It was confusing for you, someone who had never thought of anyone like that before. But even though it did come up, you weren't sure if you would ever be able to be with L in that sense. Your heart felt like there was already someone there, occupying that space.

"So, would you ever be with him in a romantic sense?"Kerrick asked, his eyes shining with hope. Heaving a sigh of your own, you lay back on your bed. Staring up at the ceiling, you gave a minute to think about your answer. Right now you weren't entirely sure about you and L. The kiss had thrown you into the deep end and you weren't sure if you were ready. So, to satisfy the conscience of your best friend, you had to give him some hope.

"We'll see."

First, I just want to apologize for not updating. I froze up with this story after coming back from Japan, not sure how I was going to jump back into it. But now I have some more planned out and I will try and update as regularly as I can. Also, just want to say that (Y/n) may not be interested in L right now but we'll get there eventually. There are just a few things I would like to have happen before anything progresses within their relationship. Thank you for your patience and for reading this story, I hope you enjoyed this chapter :)