Reunion of soulmates

Chapter 4

As soon as he entered his room, he pulled out Avni's diary that he stole from her home. He wanted to read it but something was stopping him. He wanted to feel her point of view but he knew very well that she has gone through a lot just like him and if he will read her feelings then his own heart will pain a lot after all his pain is intensified as soon as her pain passes through his heart.

He was randomly flipping the pages as he wasn't having enough courage to go through it until his eyes stopped at a particular section of the diary whose title was,

"Neilansh - a part of Neil."

He got curious and started reading that particular part of her diary.

The beginning :

Today, I got to know that I'm pregnant with Neil's child and I don't even know, how to feel about it. Should I be happy for nurturing the symbol of our love in my womb or should I be sad for Neil as he will miss the most important phase of his life. I badly want to go back to him, want to tell him that we both are blessed with a bundle of joy who will fill our lives with happiness but I can't go, my destiny have barricaded a wall between us, a wall that won't let us live together. Why my life gives me all this happiness only to snatch it once I feel elated? Why I can't live a happy and normal life? Maybe people will think that everytime I kill my own happiness by isolating myself from the people I love but they won't believe my side of the story, they won't understand that I can't let anyone who is dear to me burn into that hell where everyone taunts you, questions your identity so I bait myself for saving them as I'm used to this.

I had very few people in my life who understood me and Neil is my rock, though he's not here still the moments we spent with each other are the reason why I decided to live after I left him, he still has some of my part that gives me hope that I will survive. He still motivates me, loves me, cares for me and I know he will protect me throughout my pregnancy. Today, I have made an important decision of my life, I won't enjoy the happiness that comes with when your child refers you as his or her mother cos Neil will miss this phase and his absence always pains my heart, he won't listen to his child referring him as his or her father. So, I will bare this punishment for all the wrong things I am doing. Maybe my actions are wrong but my intentions are right.

A good thing always comes with bad thing,
Happiness always comes with sadness.
Heaven always comes with hell,
Success always comes with failure.

All these things are opposite to each other but in our real lives these things moves hand in hand.

Just like today, I am receiving the biggest news of my life. I should be jumping in happiness but I'm sitting here with clouds of grieves surrounding my mind. I wish you were here Neil, I wanted to see that beautiful smile on your face that always lighten up my mood whenever I felt sad.

Let me guess, how you would have reacted :

You would have lifted me up into your arms and roamed me around depicting your excitement, a lone tear escaping from your eye but your smile never leaving your face. After finally listening my endless requests you would have placed me down and wrapped your hands around my waist and buried your face into my belly enjoying the presence of our baby. You would have promised a thousand of things to our baby at that very moment while softly caressing my belly.

I can feel your joy Neil and I can also imagine the wide smiles on our family member's faces but I can't see all this in reality.

Maybe in some another life avneil will be blessed with one more chance and their life will stop testing them at every moment. We deserve each other but our destiny always plays the role of our enemy precisely my destiny. What can we expect from an illegitimate girl after all? That's what everyone says.