My Kind Of Perfect

Chapter Six

This is one of the reasons why I stop myself from getting too attached to someone. My mind keeps thinking the same thing over and over again and it drives me insane.

This is why I never had a boyfriend. Ever. It just adds to my problems. And being in a relationship comes with great responsibilities.

You have to keep your relationship strong and stable with your partner. If a problem comes, you can't just leave it hanging. You chose to enter a relationship so you have to face the consequences.

I have too many problems to deal with already. I don't think I can handle relationship problems yet.

Boys make mistakes like girls do. It's inevitable to make a mistake. Sometimes, it just goes too far and end up with major arguments which eventually end up to break ups.

I'm not ready to get hurt. Actually, Brian was right. I am afraid, afraid to get hurt.

I've seen girls cry over a guy. I've seen Sydney cry over of a guy because of cheating and too see her breakdown like that, I don't think I can handle that much pain in my heart.

It's better to just stay away from where it starts. And I mean 'where it starts', I mean not accepting suitors. In that way, I can avoid from setting myself up for heartbreak.

On the other hand, Rushton Hensley is somehow hard to sweep off from my mind. It's either he always visits my mind or he never left. Not a single day without me thinking about him.

There's just something about him that makes me feel like wanting to have him to myself. He's got this features that no one can easily resist. Especially me.

I never knew anything about his life. Just his name and his face.

We never had a decent conversation. Although I wish we had or we will have. As far as I can remember, the last encounter we had was when he came home with Brian and I.

My mind says he's trouble. He's a jock for crying out loud. Not to mention he must have a lot of girls waiting in line for him and I cannot take the hate when I end up with him. Snakes will be everywhere trying to take him away from me and I'll be the jealous type to get mad whenever that happens. That is if we end up together.

My heart says he's the one. I'm not even sure if I'm his type. But there's a part of me that keeps telling me to ignore all negative effects if he'll be mine and I'll be his. I'll take whatever risks to keep him and keep our relationship as strong as possible. We'll keep everything going and try our hardest to make everything alright after every fight.

Hey, that rhymes.

Anyways, whatever I do, mind or heart, I was always wrong. I don't know what to do and I don't know anything about relationships. It's just too confusing and full of mysteries. You never know what might happen and not every relationship end well.

I have too much to ask for a guy. I'm not asking a perfect one and a happy ending. But I want a guy whom I think will be by my side until the the day I die. I know there will be conflicts but he'll be there and won't leave me for another girl because I'm too stubborn.

The only problem in this life is that no one can predict or see the future. No one can predict who is gonna marry who. The only way is to risk it all.

I could go further with my rants but a sound from the speakers of the classroom caught my attention. I waited for the ting sound to stop and waited for what the announcement will be.

"Calling all the students' attention." the familiar voice of the principal starts speaking. "We would like to remind everyone that the Welcome Party will be this Saturday night and here with me is the head of the committee in charge of the activity. She will announce what it will be and where it will be." then we heard some ruffling sound and I'm guessing they were passing the microphone.