Lan Zhan,
Oh my dear Fuddy Duddy, if only you knew how much I truly love you; my love has grown over the years as we've lived side by side, and I have never once doubted during that whole time that I made the right choice when I accepted your marriage proposal.
When you asked me to marry you, I said, "Of course," and those words are still true today.
In spite of what has happened between us, I will never regret the decision to spend the rest of my life with you, nor our decision, well into our marriage to expand our family so that our nation of two, wonderfully, became 3 with A - Yuan...
Rewinding back to that afternoon in the Gusu Lan Sect, as I held your hands in front of Uncle Quiren, and Brother Lan Xichen, I knew deep down in my heart that I wanted to be with you forever and that you and I were meant to be.
I'd never been with anyone like you before; kind, generous, compassionate, loving....not to mention of course how attractive, funny, and talented you are. You were (and are) the fairy-tale partner, the figurative prince or knight in shining armor that every girl and boys dream.
I never really had that dream myself, but I suppose that's because I never saw myself as deserving of such, saw myself instead as the "other" who didn't quite fit in, destined to watch from the sidelines as happy endings were written all around me for everybody else.
When I met you, you were attracted to me, thought I was quirky perhaps, unusual perhaps, but still you found something about me that made you want to take the plunge and commit to being with me forever.
Did you have doubts on that I would live up to your expectations?
Did you sense that I would disappoint you over time, perhaps so subtly that when you finally had a firm grasp on what was happening, we’d been together for many years? But i choose to be a Yiling Patriach and Being Hero of my Enemies Clan.
Remembering our wedding day and the conviction I felt, I have held on to that memory for more than a years, knowing (hoping?) that there is something inside me that spoke to you so long ago, called out to your heart in some way that happened unconsciously, without effort.
I can still recall writing the words, the love I felt for you, the absolute wonder that you were mine.
I feel the same today, at the very moment that I'm writing these words: my love, if anything, has intensified as I've watched you become the person you are today, the qualities that I've only been able to witness as our lives have evolved: nurturing, indulgent and loving father to A- Yuan, Hangguang- Jun, a man with strong heart, considerate and steadfast husband who is constantly being called on to make sacrifices on my behalf and who does so willingly time and time again.
Loving You Always,
Wei Wuxian
