changes (lauren cimorelli)

Sleep, Grammys, and Engagement

I went to sleep that night, alone. Something I have done for most of the past 7-8 months.
I didn't understand why it mattered now. Like it hurt now, when I've been used to it. Maybe because she could have been here if she wanted.

Being in my own house just never felt completely right without her. She was constantly the only thing that made it feel like home.

Maybe that's bad that I depended on it. But I depended on her.

I woke up to the front door opening and shutting quietly. I quickly threw on a shirt and stood up, but my heart calmed down when I heard someone take off their shoes and place their keys in the dish by the front door.

It's either Lauren or a robber who has house manners. So I just climbed back into bed and rolled the blankets up.

The door opened and I pretended to be asleep. "Things have must have changed a lot since the last tour." I got confused by Lauren's words. I don't understand what she meant.

She ran her fingers down my arm and slowly played with my tshirt fabric.

"I love you. I couldn't sleep last night baby. It's about 5am and I just thought you weren't feeling good or what but. I went up about a hour after you and you weren't up there. So I figured something wasn't good or you just wanted to be alone. I left during the movie and went to go see you." she went on how she tried sleeping but couldn't without me.

I pretended to stir awake and she stopped talking and tried taking a step away from me. But I grabbed her by her waist and pulled her to my old spot on the bed as I moved back.

"I'm sorry to wake you up."

"It's okay I heard you come in. You really think I sleep with a shirt on?"

She laughed and pulled me into her. "I knew you just didn't randomly start sleeping with a shirt on."

I snickered before moving a little back so I didn't hit her as I tried taking off my shirt. Lauren replaced my hands as she took off my shirt.

I looked down at her and she was already looking back at me. I pushed myself up on my elbow and rested like that looking at her.

She moves closer to my face and I pulled her in for a heated kiss. She tried speeding it up but I controlled the kiss.

Lauren groaned a little. I grabbed her leg and pulled it over my side before moving to be over her. I pulled back and looked over her.

I grabbed the hem of her hoodie before she sat up and helped me take it off. She looked amazing. No matter how many times I see her.

Kissing down her stomach, I start feeling her getting anxious. Her breathing started getting faster and she raised her hips.

"Are you sure?" I slip my fingers under her waistband. I looked up and she was hitting her lip.

"Yes. Yes please stop teasing." She put her hand on the back of my neck, pushing me further down.

***
"I missed that. I missed you."

She placed her hand on my stomach. Her fingertips lightly moved across my stomach.

"It felt different last night. I got scared you weren't going to love me the way you used to before the massive tours. I left like I wasn't going to be a priority. I got so fucking scared. I couldn't help but think bad."

I watch her emotion drop before my eyes. She looked away and I could feel how badly she was feeling. "But then you came here. I thought you maybe forgot about our house. And treated it just like before. That's when I realized. You are still the girl I'm in love with."