Repentance

His Dream

The comfortable nothingness faded into white. You panicked then quickly calmed down because this was more feeling than you ever had before. There was no pain, there were no strings binding you. It almost felt like you could open your eyes and wake up if you so wished. But they were so heavy. Your limbs refused to cooperate. You needed to rest. Though how much rest you could get when your mind is invaded by a tyrant is questionable.

Something pushed you into the ground. Something pulled you into the ground. Your body felt heavy, too heave for the ground to support. Then it got light. It felt like you were floating for a while before the empty white started making sense. Suddenly you had a sense of up and down, left and right. The field appeared and the king in his prison laid in the center.

He was staring at the sky, almost uncaring, but you knew better. There was a gleam of barely suppressed rage. You looked up as well, not wanting to risk eye-contact. It was so empty, unnatural. You tried to will something into existence to fill the space, but it didn't happen.

"Although you have gained unforeseen control over this dream, it isn't yours."

You took offence to that and felt an unexpected sense of pride and...power. It was odd because not once in the many years of serving as a guard you felt you had power over anyone. You actually felt you had less agency over your life than other common bugs. You worked by rules you didn't put. Everything you did was meant to benefit someone else. You didn't mind it back then, almost revered it as your one true calling. It didn't feel right any more.

These dreams tormented you ever since you woke up, but you didn't think you'd mind sleeping anymore if things continued going this way.

"You cannot ignore me forever."

How is Ghost doing? You were curious about their dispute with the queen.

"My strength will rejuvenate."

It was supposed to be a threat, you thought. You didn't care. There was a disturbance in the sky, almost like something moved. It was hard to tell because whatever it is was most likely white.

You heard a sigh.

"Just...Answer me a few questions." Although phrased as such, it didn't feel like a demand. There wasn't a trace of pride in his voice. For the first time ever since you knew him, the Wyrm sounded tired.

You looked at him from the corner of your eyes. He was staring at the ground, somehow managing to look even smaller.

There was no reason to speak to him. There was no reason not to, either. It might even be a good idea to let him know the results of his decisions.

"What do you want to know?"

He didn't answer immediately, taking time to think about it. What didn't he want to know would be a much better question. "Who resealed the...Radiance." He winced as he said the name, almost expecting her to emerge from the ground right then. You wouldn't have noticed but the strings shook ever so slightly, giving him away.

"Nobody. She's dead."

His head actually shot up at that, eyes wide. Even he didn't manage to kill her. "Come again?"

"She was killed."

"Who ended her debauchery?! Was it my pure vessel?"

You contemplated telling him about Ghost. "No."

"Then WHO?"

"Another vessel. One unlike any I've ever seen." The shame was clear on your face, in your voice. You didn't think it was possible either. "Despite being flawed, a rejected vessel, they managed to put an end to the infection for good. I'm quite astounded myself."

The Wyrm needed a few moments to process this. Then with a quiver in his voice, he asked a question he didn't know would put this much fear into his heart. "What... What became of the vessel we've chosen?"

For a fraction of a second you were tempted to lie, to tell him they were dead. Even if he didn't care for their well-being, knowing his solution not only failed but was overstepped would hurt. But you didn't want to think of the Hollow Knight as dead let alone say it. It also felt... petty to lie about this.

"They live, damaged, but content."

He nodded. The Wyrm didn't want to admit it, but he felt seeds of regret taking root in his heart. But what else was he to do? Bet against all odds and wait for a miracle to happen?! Hope that one of the vessels would do what even he failed to achieve? It was unreasonable. He did what he had to.

"And... My wife?"

"Damaged, but content."

He let out a gasp at that. The Wyrm tried to cover his mouth, only managing to pull the strings tighter around him. He coughed and cleared his throat. "How damaged?"

"She lost her sight, but not much else."

His face quivered, not settling on an emotion. You almost pitied him. Almost.

The Wyrm was almost hesitant to continue, but he did. "My kingdom?"

"It lays in ruins, a husk of its past self. Your city is left barren save for a few bugs who love the solitude. Although...The village on the edge have flourished. Dirtmouth."

That little village. He didn't think much of it. Why would bugs want to live there when they had his elegant city? Or was it elegant anymore? He didn't want to know.

You didn't speak after that and he was content with that. This was already too much information all at once. He still couldn't wrap his head around the fact the that Radiance was killed. By a flawed vessel. Were you lying? You certainly lost much of your manners, so he wouldn't be surprised.

But it didn't seem like something you'd do.

He might just have to accept it as fact because he didn't have any way to tell. He would just have to take your word for- Well, everything; because with you holding him so tightly, he has no chance of seeing for himself. He has no chance of seeing his kingdom, his city, that supposed vessel, his wife. His Root.

He wouldn't be able to see her!

"(Y/N), what would it take for you to release me?"

"Nothing. I never will. Not if I can help it."

"(Y/N)," he said in a stern tone.

You didn't answer.

"(Y/N)."

How was Ghost doing? Why did you want to know so badly?

"(Y/N)! RELEASE ME THIS ONCE. It is an order."

You hated how easily he got under your skin. "WHEN WILL YOU GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD THAT I NO LONGER TAKE ORDERS FROM YOU."

"(Y/N) I-" I want to see my wife, he wanted to say. But the King was no beggar.

The strings dug into his shell. He feared you would attempt tearing him apart again, not caring for the pain but wanting to say more. The Wyrm was frustrated, not only with you but also with himself. Especially with himself. He was never one to get angered so easily, or at least not one to show anger so easily. He was eloquent, persuasive, diplomatic! Yet now it seemed as if all words have escaped him. If there was one thing he loathed, it had to be stubbornness.

The strings tightened further, confirming his concerns.

You didn't want to hurt him. Well, you did. But this wouldn't cause any real damage and tormenting him was like stooping down to his level. You just wanted out of the dream and this seemed like the only way to do it besides waiting for someone to wake you up.

The strings sliced through him. The dream was already crumbling.

"At least tell her I'm alive!"

That was all he could mange before being torn to shreds.

Your eyes shot open. You laid in there for a while, regaining your bearings. You weren't exactly well-rested, but you felt better than you had before. Turning around, you saw Drools... No. That was a pile of quilts and some feathers.

You got up and looked around quietly, careful to not rouse the queen.

Drools wasn't anywhere inside the hut.