hate is a strong word (bxb)

2

Shortly after getting kicked off of the other boy's property, Scar and Benjamin decided that it would be best to just smoke in Scar's car instead. Going inside of Ben's house was a big no-go, as Ben was well aware of the fact that his father was inside watching football in the living room. Every night he got home around five or six, and he would have noticed the strange behavior coming from Scar and Ben. Had he noticed he, he surely would have proceeded to ground Ben for a month and then ban him from seeing Scar. Ben's father is nothing if not a bigot and has always seen Scar as being a shady person. He would assume that because of the darker color of Scar's skin, Scar was the one influencing Ben to act in such a rebellious way, when in reality, it was the opposite. Ben was always the one who was more down for this kind of thing.

"I don't want to sound insensitive or anything, but do you gay guys just know when each other are gay? Is that a thing?"

"Huh?" Ben naively raised an eyebrow, not quite sure what it was that the other was getting at.

"He was definitely hitting on you. I mean, how does he know that you're gay?"

Ben knew what the boy from the other house had been insinuating, but he didn't think that it was serious. He took it as a taunt of sorts. A joke—and nothing more. Really, he thought that it would be delusional to think that the boy was hitting on him.

"He doesn't know anything," Ben muttered, "he's just trying to get under my skin. It was a joke. No way a guy like that is into guys."

"What's that mean?"

Ben loved his best friend. Truly—he adored him. They'd always been good friends, and though Ben considered himself to be someone who didn't let others in, he made an exception for Scar. Despite this, he knew very well that Scar didn't understand him very well. Scar was a heterosexual male and he really never knew what Ben was talking about when he started to talk about guys.

"He's just too attractive to be into men," Ben answers.

"He's an asshole, you think that he's hot?"

Ben thought carefully about his answer. He didn't want to admit that he thought that he was attractive, because really, the boy had been annoying. But Ben wasn't a liar—and he knew that the other boy was attractive. Yeah, the boy was a complete and utter douchebag, but that didn't mean that he wasn't still attractive. 

"Doesn't matter if he's a complete and utter dick—"

Before Ben could get his final words out, he's quickly cut off by Scar, "Because that's what you're into?"

Ben felt his cheeks heat up just a little bit at that comment. "Shut up," he responded sheepishly.

"So let's say that a dude like that—a total dildo of a man—wanted to do you, or whatever, would you really go for something like that?"

Maybe, Ben thought, and then out loud responded, "as if," and laughed, throwing his head back a little, letting his soft brown curls his the car seat head-rest.

Though he was far too shameful to admit it, maybe he would have sex with a guy like that. Benjamin wasn't a virgin, but it had been a long, long time since the last time that he had sex. Being gay made it hard to get laid, but being gay and in the closet? Well, that made it almost impossible for Ben. So, the truth was that if someone as attractive as that boy wanted to have sex with him, he might just say yes.

It was only a hypothetical, though. Hypothetically, he would have sex with a boy like that--but come on, there was no chance. 

Soon enough, they found themselves talking about a different topic and a far more comfortable topic at that. They hung out in Scar's car for a little while longer before calling it a night.

Ben entered his house as Scar drove off. He had wanted to avoid his dad, but he knew that was unlikely for him to do. Before Ben even stepped one foot into the main room, his dad was yelling out from the living room, "it's nearly nine, you know that?"

His dad always spoke with a rough voice. It was somewhat scratchy and it always made Ben cringe just a little bit. He hated how stern he always sounded when he spoke.

"Yeah, sorry, I got caught up in some things."

"Don't be out that late again," he commanded, but Ben couldn't quite understand why his father cared so much about when he was home or gone. It wasn't as if they had a close relationship. It shouldn't have made a difference where he was.