hate is a strong word (bxb)

20

Ben had been studying for an exam during his lunch period—the same period that he shared with Braxton, Scar, and a few other friends. His head was far too preoccupied with his study to be paying attention to what people were saying, but he heard parts of the conversation. He knew that Olivia was talking about a guy she'd been talking to, and that Scar and Braxton had been somewhat involved in the conversation. 

"Yeah, I guess I just like guys who are more dominant," she explained, though Ben had no idea what it was that she was saying before that, "what're you guys into? I mean, dating wise."

"I like guys who—"

As Braxton began to explain, Ben's ears perked up and he felt himself fill with shock. He hadn't expected him to be so out in the open with something like that—though, he should've expected it to a ceratin extent. "You're out?" Ben exclaimed, "I, uh, I didn't know that you were out."

Ben had found some peace and serenity in thinking that Braxton wasn't out of the closet. Ben, for one, was so far in the closet that he was sure he wasn't going to come out before graduating. It wasn't something that he liked to talk about, despite it being a big part of his being. He thought that if Braxton weren't out, there was no way of Braxton exposing the nature of their relationship—or even Ben's sexuality to begin with.

"Yeah?" Braxton's voice was questioning as he spoke.

"You knew that he was gay? I couldn't have guessed that," Olivia asked.

"Oh, poor sweet Olivia, he knows all too well," Braxton snorted, and Ben hit Braxton on the shoulder harder than he'd ever hit someone before. Braxton can't help but let out a pained grunt at that, but he recovers quickly, and corrects Olivia on something else that she'd said, "And I'm bi, so you still have a chance." And at that, Ben hits him once more.

"Looks like someone's jealous," Braxton smiled brightly.

"Fuck you," Ben muttered under his breath.

Ben picked up his phone from on top of the table and began to text Braxton. He typed a text that read: What the fuck? Don't tell them that we're ... whatever we are.

Braxton looked down at the text message that appeared on his phone and let out a small laugh, grabbing everyone's attention at the table. They watched as he texted back. Ben read the text immediately, and it said: don't you think it would be more suspicious if I DIDN'T hit on you? Come on, making jokes about you is one of my prominent personality traits. People expect that shit from me so I really can't be letting them down.

I hate you so much. You're dead. I'm going to come to your house after school and I'm going to kill you, Ben responded.

Seeing as it made Ben uncomfortable, Braxton cooled it with the jokes for the rest of the lunch period and got off of that topic. The goal for Braxton had always been to get Ben heated, not to make him uncomfortable—and there was a clear difference. When he was angry, he was funny, and there was a clear understanding that Ben enjoyed bickering with Braxton. However, Ben was no fun whatsoever when he was uncomfortable.

Scar pulls Ben aside once the period comes to an end and everyone is gone, "so, what the hell was that exactly?"

"What was what?"

"The whole thing with Braxton alluding to—well, you know. I know that's like, normal for him, or whatever, but that was weird."

"Yeah, he can be weird like that," Ben began to explain but he was interrupted by Scar.

"I didn't mean it was weird on Braxton's part," he said, "well, it was, but I'm used to him acting like that. It was weird for you."

Ben found himself being rather confused at that observation. He was sure that if anyone was acting weird, it was Braxton. He was rightfully angry, or at least he thought himself to be, and anyone else would have reacted in such a way, wouldn't they have?

"How?"

"You just—I don't know. You got more flustered than usual, and there's something not so subtle about you typing, then stopping, then Braxton typing, then stopping, then you typing again, and so on. It wasn't slick, you know?"

"Scar, you're my best friend," Ben began, "and I'm going to tell you something, and you're never going to repeat it, and you're not even going to think about it. And you're not going to judge me for it... and—"

"Jesus, just spit it out already."

"We had sex," the words just came out so quickly that they were barely comprehensible, but Scar understood despite that. He regretted it instantly, but he said what he said and he knew that Scar was able to keep a secret.

"Now that's an image that I don't want to see," Scar let out a loud laugh, and Ben almost felt disappointed that he hadn't stirred a bigger reaction from it. He knew that Scar had thought they did it once, but had he really been that on to them? Was it not surprising to him in the slightest? Scar continued to speak casually about the situation, "so, is it really as big as he says it is?"

"It's, uh, yeah, it's uh—just, yeah. I don't want to talk about it but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't, and Benjamin Adams is no fibber."

"How'd it happen?"

"Well, the first time—"

"There's been more than one time?" Scar exclaimed with widened eyes, "I didn't think that there was more than once."

"It was only two times."

"Two times too many," Scar scoffed.

"The first time we were smoking and it just happened. I don't know. I can't really explain it. But the second time, well, I'm not proud of it, ok? But you know, I've, uh, I've been grounded, and I've been really bored so I told him to come over and some things happened."

"Jesus, Ben," Scar wore a judgmental look on his face, "you know that I'm cool with you being, well, you know, but him?"

"Yeah, uh, I'm not proud of it either."

"But is it over?"

"I'm not sure," he answered, confusing raging through him, "I don't know if I want it to be over, but it probably should end, right?"

"Right," Scar responds, trying to follow.

"But it's just addicting?  I don't know."

"I'd rather you be addicted to crack," Scar muttered, "but you do you."