BTS X Reader Oneshots

Jhope X !Depressed !Abused !Suicidal Reader

Requested by @_evilstepdad

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Mature content/Trigger Warning

God I want to just end it.
This isn't worth it anymore.
It's not worth it.

  I lean against the shower wall as the tears spill out of my eyes, as does the blood from my fresh wounds and bruises. I look and my razor and debate whether I should just slit my wrist or take the pills.. because I can't do this anymore.
  Getting beaten every day by a drunken father and having a brother that encourages it just isn't worth it. I don't even deserve one light in my life. He doesn't deserve to have to deal with all of my problems.
  The mixture of blood, water, and tears drip down my face, burning the freshly opened cut on my lip. Though it does feel nice against my leg and eye, which is sure to be black in the morning.
My whole body aches from the precious beating I received only moments earlier.
I sigh and reach for my razor. The blade feels cool against my flesh, but it soon met with my warm blood.
One cut.
Two.
Three.
Four.
The cycle continued until both of my arms were dripping unhealthy amounts of blood. It's not enough to kill me, just enough for me to feel something. To feel the pain I deserve.
The water stings as I rinse my aching body. I step out of the shower and dab at my wounds with a towel, trying to avoid getting too much blood on the towel.
Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
My phone buzzes on the counter and Hoseok's picture appears. I sighs and send the call to voicemail. He doesn't deserve to be bothered with my problems. Moments later, my phone begins to ring again. It's Hoseok calling again. Once again, I send it to voicemail.

Hobi
Are you ok?

I look at the text and wonder why he actually cares about me.
No he doesn't. Stop lying to yourself. Nobody loves you, and they never will.
I turn my phone completely off as the voices slur through my head. I slip on my T-shirt and leggings before limping out of the bathroom. I hurry back to my room before locking the door and slouching against it.
Just a little bit longer and I'll have enough money to move out.
I silently thank my mom for my inheritance. If she was still here, she would've already taken me and left. I can't live like this anymore.
"Open up, Y/n," a dark voice says on the other side of my door.
I cover my mouth to silence my breathing and pretend like I'm not in here.
"Do make me break this door, Y/n," my brother threatens, his voice growing louder.
A light tapping on my window grabs my attention. I tip toe over to it and peek through the curtains. A familiar face looks back at me with concern in his eyes. They go wide as he sees my beat up face. Loud banging can be heard as my brother attempts to break down my door.
I dart across the room and grab my bag with my few articles of clothing, phone, charger, money, book, and my small black case. Its contents were my blades, pills, and a photo. I pop open the window and manage to hop out just as my door gives out and falls fo the floor.
I sprint into a run, if forming my brothers booming voice yelling for me. I was running on pure adrenaline, seeing as my leg was no longer in pain for the time being. Hobi trails behind me as I run down the street to where he parks his car. He never parks at my house, given how destructive my so called relatives are. My neighbor once had a grandchild over and he left a kids John Deere Jeep in our yard. It got blown to pieces by my father and brother.
My fast pace begins to slow down as I approach the black 4Runner. I open the door and literally jump in the car before ducking down in case my brother had been following me. Hoseok jumps in the drivers seat and starts the car.
"Y/n, wha-" he starts to say.
"Please just drive. Please, Hoseok" I say, feeling myself start to break once again.
He nods and floors it, making sure to take the route in the opposite direction of my house to avoid being spotted. He doesn't live that far, and with him speeding it was a rather quick drive.
Soon enough, we pull into his driveway and he pulls into his garage. He turns the car off before finally turning to me.
"Y/n..What happened?" He asks, concern laced in his voice.
Against my will, I feel the tears begin to build up in my eyes.
"Here, let's go inside," he says as he gets out of the car. I open my door and attempt to step out. My leg gives out on me as I touch the ground, but I feel a strong pair of arms wrap around me, preventing me from falling any further.
  "It's ok.. I got you," he says as he puts his arms under my legs and back and carries me bridal style to the door. I cling to him with one arm and reach to open the door with the other.
  We enter the house and walk to the living room. He gently lays me on the couch with pillows propping my leg and head up.
"What happened?" He says, taking my cut up arms in his hands.
"I can't go back there, Hoseok," I whisper, my tears threatening to fall again.
"You don't have to. You can stay here as long as you need to, but please tell me what happened so I can help," he coaxes.
I inhale before speaking.
"Ever since my mom died, things have been a living hell. They blame me for it, and they take their anger out on me. That's why I ran. My brother was coming to hurt me again," I say, my voice breaking and the tears falling.
His eyes change from concern to rage, the thought of someone hurting me making him furious.
"Please don't do anything, Hoseok. I'm almost 18. They can't legally make me go back or go to an orphanage once I am. I've almost saved up enough to get out of here. Please don't do anything, Hoseok, please," I beg.
"They don't have the right to lay a hand on you. What happened wasn't your fault," he says in a stern voice.
"Please," I plead, a tear trickling down my cheek.
His expression softens and he pulls me into a warm embrace.
"It's ok. I won't, but I want you to stay here. If there's a chance they're gonna come after you, I'm not gonna let that happen. I'm going to protect you," he says as I bury my face in his chest.
"Thank you," I say, releasing a breath I didn't know I was holding.
"You don't have to thank me. Have you eaten today?" He asks as he pulls away.
"No. They don't allow me to eat at home, so I sneak a couple things at the cafe I work at," I explain. I don't eat a lot, so it doesn't really bother me.
"You need to eat. Can you stand?" He asks, the concern returning to his normally living and happy eyes.
"I don't think so. They pushed me down the stairs and I twisted my ankle, then I ran to your car to get away. I'm sorry," I say.
"Hold on. I got something," he says as he gets up and scurries down the hallway.
Moments later, he comes back with a rolling desk chair. He helps me move from the couch to the chair before rolling me into the kitchen.
"I can cook or we can get delivery. What do you wanna do?" He asks.
"It's up to you. I don't want to be a bother," I say, my depressing thoughts clawing at the back of my mind.
Why does he still care?
"I know you like (favorite restaurant). Is it ok if we get delivery from there? That way we don't have to leave the house," he asks.
"You really don't have to do that. I'm used to not eating, so I'm ok," I say.
He sighs before speaking.
"Y/n. It's my job to protect you. We've been friends for how long? You need to eat. I'm willing to do almost anything for you. Now I know this isn't the best time, but I love you, Y/n," he speaks quickly.
My heart stops as I hear those words. Nobody has said that to me ever since mom died.
"What do you mean?" I ask, trying to process what I heard.
"I love you. I'd go to the ends of the earth for you. I know I probly should've waited to say this, so I'm sorry. But I love you, and I hope you will say yes to being my girlfriend," he says, getting a sudden burst of confidence.
For the next few moments, I stare at him with utter shock. I know I've liked Hoseok for a long time, but I've refused to accept it, thinking it's not worth it to have my heart broken because he doesn't feel the same way. Is this the right thing to do?
"I.. love you too. I'm not really familiar with how to be a girlfriend, but I think I'd like to try and see what happens," I say, my heart rate shooting up.
His face lights up as he hears my answer. Words cannot describe his expression, but for once in my life I think I've made someone truly happy.
He wraps his arms around me in a tight hug, but careful not to hurt me. After a few moments, he pulls away and smiles.
"So how bout that food?" He asks.
I'm not really hungry, but there's actually someone who cares about me, so I smile and nod.
The dark thoughts still scratch at the back of my mind along with the flashbacks of the events that occurred at my supposed home, but I try to push them away.
Hoseok calls and orders the food before rolling me back to the living room. He helps me back onto my spot on the couch and sitting down beside me. He picks up the tv remote and holds it out to me.
  "You can pick what we watch. I have Netflix, Hulu, and YouTube," he smiles.
  I give a small grin in return and take it from his hand.
  I open YouTube and scroll through his newsfeed. I click on a random video and sink back into the couch. After a few minutes, a knock can be heard at the front door. I pause the video and Hoseok stands up, grabs his wallet, and walks to the door.
  "Delivery for Hoseok?" the delivery boy says.
  "Yes," he says, holding out the money to him.
  He takes it and hands the food to Hoseok before moseying back to his tiny work car. Hoseok closes the door and sets the food on the coffee table. He pulls out two fold up table from beside the couch and sets them up. One if front of where I am and the other for him.
  "I have sprite in the kitchen, or water if you want that instead," he says.
  "Sprite is ok, but I feel bad for making you wait on me," I say, guilt building up in the pit of my stomach. I told myself that I wasn't going to be a bother to him.
  "You don't have to be sorry. As long as your here, I'm going to spoil you. No arguing," he says as he trails off into the kitchen.
  I sit there in shock for the next few seconds. Spoil.... me? I have never heard of such a thing.
  He comes back in the room with the sprite and sets it on my table along with my favorite food.
  "Thank you. I'll pay you back when I get my bag out of your car," I say.
  "You're not paying me back. Like I said, I want to spoil you. Also, I'm taking you shopping tomorrow" he replies.
  "But-." I begin, but he cuts me off.
  "No arguing," he says, flashing his adorable heart shaped smile.
  I swear, he's the only one that has ever managed to catch my heart. He's the only guy I know that has never laid a hand on me, actually the only person that hasn't. I got bullied lot in school, and I had only ever been friends with Hoseok through my mom.
  The rest of the night consisted of supper, a movie, and me falling asleep on his shoulder. I had no idea what it felt like to have someone be there for you, but I love the feeling. Someone actually cares. I can't describe how it feels, but to be loved after you've been hated for your whole life hits different.
3 Weeks Later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  "Happy birthday , beautiful," Hoseok says as he brushes my hair out of my face.
  We had fallen asleep on his couch after watching a cringey movie and eating snacks.
  "Thank you," I reply, smiling at the fact that he remembered and I don't have to go back to that hell hole.
  "No needs, baby," he says.
  He gave me that new nickname a couple weeks ago, but it still makes my heart flutter.
  "Come on, I'm taking you out to celebrate," he says as he stretches.
  "Can we cuddle a little longer please?" I ask, snuggling u to him.
  "Just for a little bit. I want us to go get breakfast at your favorite place," he says, becoming the big spoon. I feel safe and protected in his arms, and I don't want to give that up.
  I'm glad I didn't cut deeper on that day. I'm glad I didn't take the pills. I'm glad to finally have someone that cares bout me and doesn't hurt me like the rest. If I had gone that day, I would have never been able to experience these feelings. Hoseok has been my only friend for as long as I can remember, and is now the only one I need.
  The dark thoughts still haunt me, but I finally got the courage to get rid of my little black case, all except one thing. The photo I kept inside. It was a polaroid photo of me, mom and Hoseok.

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A/n~ Sorry to the soft readers, but I hope all you others enjoyed! this is the longest chapter I have written, ending at 2500 words

This is something that not may people want to write about, mainly because they are worried that it wont get as many reads, or even possibly offend some people.

Regardless of that, I think it's something that everyone should be aware of.