Don't Believe Everything You See | Mirage x Crypto FanFiction | Apex Legends

chapter 10 - find yourself

it had been a week since elliott's breakdown. he left the morning after without saying a word to me. he hasn't spoken to me since. i've tried countless times to contact him, knocking on his door, speaking to him, but it was no use.

i sat on my bed, gazing up at the ceiling with tear stained cheeks and puffy red eyes, the sadness still dwelling inside of me. i was beginning to think it was all a mistake. i started falling for someone who wasn't even real; a character, an image. covering a broken boy.

i wanted to help him, heal him.. but the endless anxiety that sat in my stomach making me unable to eat properly as i wondered what the fuck i did to hurt him, or even if i was to blame. i thought we were beginning something, my first experience at love.. maybe it was all for nothing.

i asked wattson about him, but she felt distant too. i swore i'd kick his door down if it meant getting answers from him. i was still watching him from time to time, but i didn't see him much anymore. i really hoped he was okay.

deciding enough was enough, i forcefully swung myself off of my bed and stormed out of my room. slipping on my shoes, i then ran out into the hallway, slamming the door behind me. i pulled my hood over my head to hide my pathetic state and ran with my head low towards room 201. this time, he was opening that door whether he wanted to or not.

approaching his room, i took a deep breath staring at my feet, then raised my hand slowly. without a second thought, i began pounding on the door letting my anxiety and sadness out with each hit of the metal against my skin. not ten seconds later, the door clicked and my eyes widened in shock, throwing the hood back off my head. i expected him to not open like the past few days, leaving me wondering and lost.. but he actually did it.

"hey." his raspy dry voice greeted, it sounded sick and beaten up as he stood beside the door in some sweats, his hair disheveled and covering those eyes i grew to love and his cheeks a rosy red. seemed like he'd been crying too.

"before we even start, are you going to let me in?" i asked coldly with a blank expression. i didn't want to be too hard on him but i couldn't control myself. he had left me worried sick for a week without any sort of contact.

"yes.. yes i'm going to. c-c-c-can i hug you?" i heard the guilt seething in his voice as i stared at him in offence.

"hug me? after what you fucking put me through? are you serious, elliott?" i spat, shoving his shoulder aggressively.

"i'm sorry.. so sorry.. i missed you so much i-i-i didn't know how to.. i was so.." his stuttering was making it even more painful.

"look," i cut him off, "let's discuss, i need answers." i commanded deservingly as i stared at him.

he stepped aside slowly, opening the door wider to let me by. i took a seat on his couch, clearing my throat as he dragged himself towards me, slumping down beside me. his place became a pigsty; laundry everywhere, dirty plates, empty crushed water bottles.. he must have been going through it too.

"tell me. why have you been hiding from me? ignoring everything i do to contact you, staying clear of the training area even though the games are just a few weeks away?" i insisted, my tone was desperate but i needed to know why he did it.

he swallowed a lump in his throat and stared at the ground, taking my hand in his to which i snatched away swiftly. his head hung low.

"that one night at your place.. i did something i never thought i would do." he began, his voice shaky as he rubbed his sweaty palms against his thighs. "these past years of my life, i've been using humour to deal with hardships.. creating this overconfident facade of myself so everyone thought i was 'the man'. i started competing to find a purpose. i'd convinced myself it was for the attention.. the fame, the fortune... but really it was to escape the fact i had nobody. my brothers are dead, my mother barely remembers me.. and then i got closer to you," his gaze averted from the ground and into my tear-welling eyes, "i wanted to give you all i could, protect you from anyone and anything so that you wouldn't leave me.. but then i got honest with you.. too honest. i'd never been honest with anyone before and it scared me. when i told you i didn't want to see you in pain, that i'd never found a person i'd adme-admir-amer-admired so much.. i broke the 'mirage', everything my character stood for and that broke me."

i was so taken aback by his words and his profoundness, i could tell he was speaking from his heart. he started at me longingly and gulped once again, attempting to take my hand into his to which i allowed this time. i felt tears pricking at my eyes but took a deep breath.

"so you thought that keeping your distance from me would mean you didn't have to face the truth again?" i asked monotonously, scooting a little closer. he rubbed the back of my hand with his thumb like he always did.

"yes. it was dumb and selfish, but i've lived in my bubble for so many years it scared me when i burst it for the first time and faced the truth." he revealed whilst sniffling from the tears running down his cheeks.

"i forgive you." i promised, caressing his cheek.

"y-y-you do?" he questioned in shock.

"you have shown me in such a short amount of time that you truly care for me. yes, i forgive you." i explained, pulling him into a tight hug.

"i want to apologise if i ever made you feel like i was rushing into things. i'd never felt a spark with anyone like i did with you and it gave me so much hope.. it crushed me when i left it for a week. sorry about the mess too." his apology was so sincere and heartfelt, he was making me want to be with him even more. now i understood, that painful week didn't matter. i was just happy he found himself.

"don't apologise. to some, maybe we did rush. to us, it felt natural." i insisted with a fond smile, he returned it as his puffy chocolate eyes lit up.

"i love you, tae."

"i love you too, elliott."

•••

A/N - Wow what a fluffy cheesy beautiful mess this chapter was, I really hope you enjoyed it!!

Above is a new montage I worked super hard on if you'd like to check it out! It would really mean so much to me!! I am nearing that 1k subs milestone and if you took the moment to check out my channel and maybe leave a sub, it would mean the world!!

Thank you! <3