ಌMonstersಌ(Gaara Love Story)

18.Chapter 18

I am trying not to tell you,
But I want to.
I'm scared of what you'll say
So I'm hiding what I'm feeling,
But I'm tired of holding this inside my head
-Falling For You, Colbie Caillat

                Gaara's POV
  I haven't seen her in five days. No one has. Her front door is locked, no lights are ever on and she hasn't answered the it for anyone, she hasn't actually looked out a window to see who it was either. We all have tried to get her out of the house but she never opens the door. Even her sensei couldn't get her out of there. Temari declared just before I left that if she didn't see her today then she'll go there and drag her out her house.
  I find myself many times walking there for no reason, not even remembering why I started walking in the first place or how I got there. That's the case right now. I was standing in front of her door, and knocked even though it was highly unlikely she'd answer.
  But she did.
  Her front door swung open, revealing a very disheveled looking Gina. Her hair was tied up in a very messy bun, big grey shirt with different colors of paint splatters covering it, black leggings, and a paint brush in her hand. She was wearing no makeup but still looked like she was the artwork herself.
  "Hey."She said."What are you doing here?"
  Had she not realized it's been five days since anyone has seen her?
  "It's been five days."I explained to her.
  She was quiet."IT'S BEEN FIVE DAYS!?"She screamed, shaking the whole forest."Oh my gosh, I've been painting for five straight days. How did I not even notice?"
  "You paint?"I asked her stupidly.
  The paintbrush is in her hand, there is paint all over her, and I asked her if she painted.Idiot.
  "Yeah do you wanna see?"
  She took my hand before I could answer and led me to her bedroom. It was a small room, only holding a bed mat the same size as a twin size bed, a dresser with a mirror above it, nightstand and a door in the far right corner. There wasn't very much color to the room, white walls, comforters, pillows and dresser. The only thing that wasn't white was a very light blue- grey carpet.
  Gina opened the other door and revealed her art studio."I'm sorry about the mess."She said although there was no real mess beside a table scattered with buckets of paint, and another with several drawing pads.
  Endless painting hung on the wall, beautifully blending together in colors. On a short wall facing me there were portraits of all her friends, including Temari and Kankuro.
  "This one."She said pointing to the easel holding the painting.
  Wow.
  It was a girl with glowing blue skin, wings on the tips of her ears and her hair was made up of several things. At first it started as a fiery orange hair then as feathers of various birds and then as big ocean waves. Throughout the entire painting there were butterflies, birds, a couple bees and dragonflies, and even flying fish in the waves. It was beautiful. I can see why it took her so many days to finish it with all the detail. The woman's eyes were closed but radiated this essence of independence and liberation.
  "I call it freedom."She explained."See, it's a girl who's just broken out of a cage, that's why I used things that fly, to show independence. Erm, does it look okay?"She asked a little awkwardly.
  "It looks amazing."I told her, watching that smile spread on her face, the smile that gave me warm feelings inside, smile that I could stare at all day, that smile that made me fall even harder for her. It made me especially warm that she was smiling in such a sort time after a tragedy.
  "Thanks I just can't believe I've been in here for five days."She said and her stomach growled."Oh my God, ewww I'll be right back."With that she fled from her little studio and off to do something.
  I looked around her room, inspecting some of the artwork. They all beautifully blended colors together, in a way that I wasn't even sure how it had been done. Then, I made my way to her sketchbooks, hesitantly flipping through one. It was filled with pictures of her family. Gina resembled her mother very closely, Sasuke did as well. In fact both of her siblings inherited many features from her mother who was very attractive.
  I made an inaudible gasp as I looked in the next sketch book. It was of me. Pictures of me with a small smile, fighting, sitting on her rooftop under the stars looking at the moon. Then there were several portraits like the ones on the wall in front of me. I couldn't tell why she had so many when they all look the same, there wasn't a difference in them that I could see. Then there was one that was only an outline of my face and hair but colorless and undetailed.
  Suddenly a hand slammed the book shut. Shocked, I looked up and saw Gina in a fresh pair of clothes, hair dripping droplets of water on to her neck and back, eyes boring into me with a look so fierce, I thought she might attack me for peaking in her sketchbooks.
  "Guess I should've said to wait in the living room."She said, voice so sickly sweet it was almost uncomfortable. I was silent, not knowing what to say. Gina arranged the sketchbooks into a neat pile and we left.
  We stayed a few more weeks to teach at the academy, Gina joining us to take her mind off of things. The children were fascinated with her, asking several questions about her clan and rumors they've heard, especially with her sharingan.
  Gina stayed with my siblings and I, figuring it would be good for her to stay in a place that wasn't painful for her. Naruto frequently came over to visit with Sakura and or Hinata and they often went out to train or to hang out with the other genin of the Leaf. Gina took Kiba's dog, Akamaru for a walk a few times with Shikamaru and Kiba. Temari accompanied them a lot. I noticed a spark between her and Shikamaru yet I didn't comment. I was quite glad to see my sister smiling after everything I'd put her through.
  What made me go over the moon with joy was that the Hokage had decided that Gina was to stay with us for two months, be a temporary member for Team Baki, then come home to review the situation and help out with missions. Mostly she wanted Gina to be in a fresh surroundings but with people who care about her, and for Gina to become stronger. Lady Tsunade said that with more challenging opponents and different training environments would help her to do specially that. Gina was going to be with us. For two months. Every day and every night. That's almost as good as her living with us.
  Later that night everyone but me retired to bed. I sat on the white sectional couch, not watching nor listening to whatever was on the TV but thinking of how my life used to be compared to how it is now. I used to be bloodthirsty and murderous, killing anyone even dared to look at me the wrong way. I saw the world as a place full of people to help me fulfill my purpose of getting rid of everyone. I thought the only way to be strong was to love and fight for only myself rather then fight for the people I love.
  Never would I have ever thought that it would take two people to change me, show me that truly having strength was love others. I had felt love for Temari, Kankuro and Yashamaru when I was young. I even felt love for my mother. Yashamaru had always told me that she loved me up until I had killed him. I wanted to believe that she did, she was my mother after all. At this point, I wasn't exactly sure.
  I was such a deep thought, I hadn't even noticed Gina was standing in front of me with a tired expression. She was wearing an over sized faded pink sweater that hung over her small hands and black leggings, hair tied up in a lose ponytail but she still looked so pretty.
  "Will you come lay with me? At least until I fall asleep."She asked childishly, chewing on her baby pink lip indicating she was nervous about asking me.
  I rose to my feet and she smiled at me. Without warning she jumped into my arms wrapping her legs around my waist, arms draping around my neck. I thought she was going to kiss me but she lent down to whisper in my ear.
  "Carry me."She murmured, nuzzling her face in the crook of my neck. My upper lip curled at her request.
  I carried her to the guest room that had been made hers for the time being, my hand accidentally slipping from her thigh to her bottom when I opened the door. She giggled when my eyes went wide and retracted my hand back to where it was quickly.
  Gently, I placed her back in the spot where the comforter was already pulled back. She scooted back to make room for me. I slipped in beside her, pulling her small body into me, slinging an arm over her slim waist.
  "Thank you, Gaara."She said. I pulled her into me and kissed her forehead (picture), scents of lavender and berries filling my head as I brushed some of her bang out of her face.
  I held her there all through the night and into morning, just listening to her steady breathing and twirling a piece of her raven hair. Her face held such an angelic expression in her sleeping state. I could stare at her for eternity. Her skin felt as soft as it looked. I love the way it felt under my finger tips.
  Gina had a way of making me feel different in a good way. Since my childhood I had always felt like an outcast to others but with Gina, I felt at home. I told Temari about how I was feeling and what it meant but I wasn't really sure if I felt like that.
  Did I feel for her the way I liked Naruto or Lee? Or was it like Temari and Kankuro?
  She was my friend, maybe my best friend. Gina declared many people as her best friends. Can a person have more then one best friend? I wasn't quite sure, I had never had friends before. Temari said that I "like liked" her but what did that mean? Kankuro had said that I was falling hard for her and that Gina and I were boyfriend and girlfriend, but were we?
  I thought we had to go on a date first. What if she didn't want me to be her boyfriend?
  You've become so weak for a stupid genin and an emotional girl.
  I ignored him. I'd never admit it if someone asked, but yes, I was falling for Gina.