You Took Me By Surprise (Joker Fanfic)

12 ~ A Kiss Goodbye... For Now

My eyes shot open. I was sitting on the ground, my back pressed against a hard, cold wall in a dark alleyway. In the background, there was still a lot of noise. A sharp intake of breath escaped my mouth as a heard a rustle of movement next to me in the dark.
"Arthur??" I knew it was him because of the white facepaint which was a bit more visible than anything else in our dark surroundings right now. He was sitting on the ground next to me. He had waited here with me.
"It's me. Are you surprised?" I could tell he was grinning.
"Surprised? That doesn't even begin to explain how I'm feeling about all this. How long have I been out?"
"Just ten minutes or so, I picked you up and carried you over here. The police are looking for me, obviously".
He paused, and I saw the momentary orange glow of a cigarette. "So there is something I wanted to tell you before they find me and lock me up. And if you hate me, well you won't be putting up with me for much longer".
I felt sick to the pit of my stomach, and there was a dull pounding in my head.
"What is it?"
Arthur, or Joker, took my hand in his and held it against his chest.
"Okay, I need to get it out fast. I'm absolutely in love with you. If I'm gonna be locked up I at least had to let you know that. Even when you moved to your new apartment and I wasn't seeing you around as much, my feelings stayed strong as ever. I live so much of my life in my head. Fantasising about you being equally in love with me, us living together, you stroking my back and talking to me every night. Me running my hands through your hair in bed in the mornings before bringing you a cup of tea. I know we weren't a big part of each other in real life, as much as I'd wished, but in my imaginary life I adored you. My daydreams mean a lot to me. I'm so lonely and depressed, I have a hard time distinguishing between fantasy and reality".
At that moment I seemed to have no control over my actions, for I felt myself resting my head on his padded shoulder. I was so tired. We were quiet for awhile.
"Arthur, I really liked you before things got weird. We could've been something, and we almost were. But it's Joker. He scares me. He enthrals me, but he scares me. I didn't feel safe around that part of you. It was really you who was killing those people?" I asked.
"Yes. Well, it was Joker, but that is part of me now. Please know that I wouldn't ever hurt you. I only can't control myself around people who do me wrong anymore. Everyone else is safe. I'm just so fucking tired, (YN), tired of people stepping all over me pushing me around, bullying me. Knowing Arthur is weak. That's why I did what I did. I couldn't just be Arthur anymore, because there is a part of me that wants to save myself".
We heard, suddenly, the blaring siren of a cop car nearby.
Arthur jumped animatedly to his feet, and held his hand out to pull me up. And then he stood very close to me, looking deep into my eyes and blinking in that slow way he does.
"I know there's a little part of you that wants this, and there's a massive part of me that does".
And with that, he pressed his body up against mine, up against the wall behind us. And he kissed me. It was a hungry sort of kiss, yet it was tidy and not forceful. I didn't feel like stopping it, my body actually melted against his.
There were footsteps approaching, but we continued. Then, Joker was yanked away, ending our kisses abruptly, as three strong, tall cops dragged him away. Joker kept looking back with me, with watery eyes, and a mixture of blood and makeup on his face.
And somehow, that kiss didn't feel like it would be our last. And that look on his face as he looked back at me made me think it wasn't going to be the last time I saw him. Somehow. And I hoped.