SMOSH AGAINST TIME: The Epic Conclusion (Book Three)

Chapter One - Smosh on the Run

Ian Hecox

All we wanted when we get home was a comfy warm bed waiting for us, drinking hot coco by the fireplace and talking about poop jokes and girls. But no, we got some creepy-ass goons chasing us and now we're on the run from our own parent company with no specific reason, only being told that they turned against us. How? Why?

Give us a break, it's my friggin' birthday for crying out loud, we've been through two mind-numbing and borderline-confusing adventures, and this is our welcome home gift? Perfect.

It was nighttime, I could hardly see where we're driving, there were only vague shapes of houses and the lights coming from them, the lamp posts and the cars. Link kept driving away from our house and I glanced at it and watched it grow smaller, we should've been in there right now settling down but there are these idiots that want to get us.

The guys in black stepped out of the house, coughing and fanning away the smoke, "Search the place! They couldn't have gotten that far away!" The man looked at our car but the heavily tinted windows and the darkness of the night concealed us... I hope.

"Get down, Ian." Link said, reaching his hand out to me then pushing me down the backseat. I dove down the backseat with Anthony and we ended up lying down with his ass near my face and his head near my crotch, it was awkward.

"Please don't get a boner." Anthony blurted out.

"Don't do anything hot that'll turn me on." I joked, "—please don't fart."

"So another adventure unfolds." My friend whispered.
"I suppose so."

"So, who do you think is behind it this time?"

"I don't know, but I hope it gets revealed sooner, last time it took a little longer to reveal who was the bad guy."

"True." He sighed. We laid there in the backseat for a good thirty minutes and I just stared up on the car's ceiling, deep in thought.

Why did Link say that Alloy Digital had turned against us?

Suddenly out of nowhere, Anthony farted. "Can we sit up now? Anthony's really gassy." I said. He grunted followed by another fart, "Really, man?!" I screamed.

"Sorry dude, but hose prunes and beans I ate made my gastric juice go out of whack." My friend apologized.

"Yeah, those farts definitely smelled like prunes." I said, in the verge of vomiting. "Hey Link! Can I sit up now?"

"Yeah, you were in the clear fifteen minutes ago." Link snickered.

"What?!" I bolted up from my seat, "Then why didn't you tell us earlier?" I hissed.

"I don't wanna disturb your sleep and you look so adorable there." Link chuckled.

"Ha, ha, very funny." I flatly mocked, "He's been farting in my face the whole trip!"

Link just laughed and I pushed Anthony to sitting up, "Now, would you mind telling us why we're running from Alloy Digital?" my friend asked.

"I was only told to pick you guys up from your house as the rest will be explained by our 'Leader'." He narrated, "—I arrived there a little late so I had to surprise them with a smoke bomb to get you out."

"What leader?"

"—of The Rebellion." That word sounds familiar.

"What the hell is this?! Star Wars?!" I ranted, "And what do you call the bad guys? The Empire?"

"Yes." Link replied in a small, mouse-like tone.

"How unoriginal." I sighed then folded my arms.

Really? He had to rip off Star Wars.

Link drove along a wide road that smoothly merged with the busy traffic. A lengthy waiting later, we found ourselves along a quiet suburban area where houses stood on either side of the road.

Our driver stopped by a house which nearly identical to our Smosh house only it was colored cream, unlike our grayish sky blue house. Link took out a flashlight, turned it on and beamed it at the window. The house's big brown garage door creaked open, allowing access inside. We drove in and parked in one of the spots as the garage door closed, sealing us inside and engulfing us in almost total darkness.

"We're here." Link stepped out of the car and we followed. He led us to a white door that stood out in the dimness of the garage.

"Where are we?" Anthony asked.

"You'll find out sooner." The elf said. He knocked on the door three times, each with a different tone.

The door opened, letting the light in the dark garage and a tall hooded figure blocked our way, in his hand an axe. "Ian and Anthony?" The figure said in a dark tone, making Anthony jump on my arms and ended up being carried bridal style.

"W-who a-are you?" I trembled.

"I am Death." He said. Anthony squealed like a girl.

"Quit it, man." Link said, flipping the light switch on, fully lighting the place and revealing the mysterious figure: the man was wearing white and blue medieval clothes with a distinct white hood covering his face. Lean built, brown belt hanging from his shoulder across his chest, inner clothing was blue. A familiar insignia was on the top of his hood: The Assassin's Insignia

And the axe on his hand wasn't just an ordinary axe, it was a Tomahawk.

"Connor!" I shrieked, "You dick."

"Got ya!" Connor laughed.

I dropped Anthony on the ground, "You're here too?" He stood up.

"Of course." He replied "—because I'm not there, duh!" He joke and I sighed.

"Would you let us in?" Link cut the conversation short.

"Oh yeah, come right in." Connor motioned us to get inside. The door shut behind us, we were standing in front of a quiet hallway with three doors on each side and one door at the far end. To our left was another hallway with the same looks as the one in front. White shiny tiles were under our feet, the walls were painted cream like the outside while the doors were painted mahogany.

"Okay, now that we're here, where is this 'Leader of the Rebellion' you're talking about?" I said.

"Right this way." Connor led us to the door at the far end of the hallway. His hand reached for the knob and turned it slowly, he glanced at us and he turned it slower. We all looked at the knob as he turned it even slower.

"Godammit Connor! Just let us in!" Link shoved Connor away then pushed the door open. The room was dimly lit by a small light bulb at the center. It was a big conference room with a long table with four big soft office chairs on each side and one at the very end. There was only light shining at the farthest chair which happened to be turned back.

"Who's there?" A raspy British voice said from behind the chair.

"It's Link." The elf said firmly.

"Link, how did your task go?" He asked.

"I think I did well, saved them from the goons." We were almost knocked out by them, you say you did well?!

"Were you followed?" His voice rose.

"No. We lost them back a while ago."

"Good, Good." He said in the deepest tone he could say.

"Would you mind telling us what the fuck's going on here?" I exclaimed and the chair slowly turned, the mysterious man faced us. There he sat on top of a pile of Playboy Magazines, silvery gray hair all over, two pairs of little paws, cute little nose and a pair of cute big black eyes.

"Charlie?!" We gasped.

"Hello poofs." His mouth moved, "Let me shed some light on the subject."