hate you | h.rj

ch nine

Renjun

She left me there hanging and it makes me regret what i did to her. I stood there and realized what i planned out before.

At first, i thought this would just be nothing and would just pass since i know she hates me so it has nothing to do with her but i didn't expect that she would be hurt.

It should just be 'for fun' and to make her jealous so i would know what she really feel towards me. i thought it would be a pure 99% she would ignore it and would be happy about the so-called relationship of me and hyuni and that 1% is me hoping that she would really hate because she have some feelings towards me, turns out it was vice versa.

Flashback...

"uhmm, hyuni can i talk to you?" i came up to her so i can tell my plan.

"sure, what is it?" she grinned and we headed outside since classes are done now.

"well, this would be actually favor....can we like fake date?" i can see she was take aback a little so i hurridly told her my intention.

"i-im doing this just to prank eunji uhm is that ok then?" i asked again and she nod continuesly.

"oh thank god, you agreed dont worry i'll treat you after this!" i rest assured her and and i received a smile from her.

"but isn't it going to be like harsh? I mean what if she likes you? I know she would really feel bad and hate you..." she said as if she is hesitating if we're still gonna continue the plan.

I didn't think of that actually, but the way she acts when she's with me is really different when she's around with everybody. she shows her sweet and natural self to others and a stubborn one when she's with me just give me signs that she definitely hates me but i think only god knows how she truly feel then.

"s-she hates me because im one annoying ass so that's enough proof that she don't like me. This would be probably nothing i promise, i just wanna make sure."

"what do you wanna make sure, injunnie?" she then played a smirk and i know what she's thinking but since she's my fucking bestfriend, i told her what i feel.

"ok, i like eunji and i wanna know if she feels something about me tho. you definitely know i'm a coward and not a straightforward person like jaemin

and i can't just confess easily since i fucked up my image to her so i need to do it the other way around. it's okay if reject me too, i know that from the start, i just wanna get this burden out of my chest." i said and she pouted. she ruffled my hair and i shrugged.

"i never knew you feel something about her. you should've told me so that i can clear things up to you. i will help you don't worry dude, i got your back." she raised her fist and we fist bumped. we hugged each other too.

"thanks alot, hyuni! i really mean it." and we both exited the school after that.

End...

And there, hyuni's words hit me hard as hell. i need to find her. i quickly rushed outside and ran the empty halls of our school. I ended up at the empty room near the stairs and there i saw her and jaemin hugging. with that, my heart can be heard being shattered into pieces. i stood there watching jaemin comfort her because of my fucking fault.

I can feel the liquid coming out of my own eyes, they ran like its a river flowing carelessly. i didn't wiped it instead i still watched them silently and hurt myself before heading back to our room to pack my things.

That's when i realize that what i did was a pure bullshit. I felt really guilty but can you blame me tho? Apparently yes, since i acted like an ass to her and i can't just say 'i like her' like a sike when i know i did alot of shit to her. I didn't expect that she likes me too but how? i'm not even that attractive to be exact and my personality? you can say it's crappy i admit.

But how can i know what she really feel? she made me feel like i'm the last person she would like to be with. and i also know how it feels to hide your feelings because i did it too.

I feel happy that she likes me too but after what i did, i wanna punch myself really hard. i was too oblivious to know what she really feel. she always show me that she hates me and i hid my feelings to myself. i always know that i will never have a chance to be with her.

but still, i took the risk, in a wrong way.i hurt her, my plan failed and i know this would either be fixed or we will remain frenemies forever.

i should apologize, clear things to her forget about what happen today. maybe my feeling for her too,

Because definitely, she hates me so much now....

yazzz an update, im sorry i know that this book is not good and this is complete crap tbh o_O but thanks for all the read everyone, ily!!!