hate you | h.rj

ch eleven

Renjun

right now, i dont wanna get up and go to sleep because i'm being a fcking coward again after what i did yesterday. i don't even know how will i talk to her later. i tried practicing my speech that i will tell her. i'm also worried, will she go to school today? is she okay?

i feel like shit so i sat down in my bed. i showered and ate my breakfast and went to school. my eyes are fucking red as hell like i smoked weed and i hate it.

as i rode the bus going to school, there i saw her. she's sitting there alone in one of the seats near the window and i was standing and staring at her at the same time. i came back to my senses when the bus suddenly stopped. i sat near her seat in the left.

damn, i can't stop thinking about her.

as i was staring at her, she turned her head to me and i immediately blanked out. she stares at me intensely with her puffy eyes and i can see she's not okay. the next thing i knew, we both went down the but and arrived at school.

when we arrived the room, everything was empty. just the two of us there so i seized this as my opportunity in talking to her. i walked to her seat and sighed.

"uhm, can we talk?" i said while looking down the floor. she turned her head to me and nodded but still avoiding my eyes.

i sighed once again before talking.
"look, i'm really sorry for what i've done. i know you hate me more now and it's okay, fucking deserved it. it's not my intention to hurt you, im telling you.

my only plan is to somehow prank you by having a fake relationship with hyuni no hate intended, it's all just for fun. i didn't know that you were feeling that. i fucked up and i know that but i can't just confess to you like that after what i've done to you for the pass couple of months.

yes, i like you, eunji. like a lot now. you make me happy in many different ways and you don't know how much you really mean to me. i know you can't just forgive me and i accept rejections.

it's okay, i was a full idiot from the start and you don't deserve someone like me." and right there, i started crying. she only stared at me and didn't say anything too.

but i can see she starts crying too and she walked away. i know this would happen. i walked out and went to our hangout place at school, the empty room near the library. i started crying even more my face is all wet. im tired and im hurt. but what can i do, it's all my fault.