I'm Here { Lukanette FF }

22 - Heart Disease

My mind was blank. Empty. I couldn't feel, couldn't hear, couldn't speak, couldn't see anything.

But suddenly I felt a searing pain surging through every vein and muscle I had. It brought me back to my senses.

My eyes suddenly opened, blinding light burned my head as I faced the blank white ceiling.

It was a weird kind of feeling I'd never gotten before.

But I still felt the pain. It was cold, but it also burned hotter than fire. My chest was heavy. It was hard to breathe.

"You're okay now, boy." I heard an unfamiliar voice say.

My vision was still blurry. So, so blurry.

"Just rest now, you're in the hospital. We'll take care of you." the voice spoke again.

Hospital?

I suddenly felt something hit me. Not physically, but it made me feel so much more sleepy than I already was.

It swarmed around me like a blanket, urging me to close my eyes and lose consciousness. I tried to resist. I tried to speak and ask for answers but the sleepiness was too strong.

Finally, I let the heavy feeling consume me.

~

A slow, yet constant tingling feeling sparked something in me. And then a voice followed it. It was familiar... but I couldn't place it.

The voice sounded desperate, worried, anxious. It made me want to reach out and hug it.

Suddenly, I was introduced to light. It was blinding, but not as blazing and as excruciating as before.

My eyes fluttered open tiredly. The tingling sensation was on my fingers. My blurry vision subsided and I moved my gaze to someone sitting on a chair beside me.

Judging from the angle I was seeing them, I was laying down on my back.

First, I recognized their hair, then face, then their voice.

I blinked a few times to get rid of the rest of the blurry spots in my vision.

"Marinette...?" I murmured.

Ouch. My throat was stinging and dry. It felt as rough as sandpaper. My chest heaved with pain.

I could make out the small smile that appeared on her lips.

"Luka." she breathed, looking relieved.

"What happened?" I turned away, looking at my surroundings. I was in a hospital room.

"I can answer that."

That voice! It was the same one I heard before, telling me to rest. I looked to my right, a tall man - in what I guessed was in his late 20's - was standing above me, holding a few papers in his hands.

"You passed out after receiving a minor heart attack," he informed me.

So that's why my heart felt so pressured.

"Unfortunately," the doctor sighed. I held my breath. Damn, I never liked that word.

"You're diagnosed with Cardiovascular disease, in other words, heart disease."

I felt another heavy pressure on my chest. "What...?" I whispered, hardly believing, while completely believing, what I was hearing. "I have a... heart disease?" I heaved.

The doctor nodded sadly.

I sighed and laid my head back on the pillow. "Great," I said sarcastically as a cold tear dripped down the side of my face.

"LUKA!" the door burst open, I almost got another heart attack. Juleka and Rose rushed in, followed by Nathaniel.

Juleka was the first to reach the bed. "I heard about what happened, how are you feeling?" she clenched my hand.

I blinked and smiled at her, "Just peachy. After all, it's not every day you learn you have heart disease." I smiled sadly at that last part.

Juleka clenched my hand even tighter as tears poured down her face. "Luka!" she grumbled.

I looked behind her, Rose and Nathan were solemnly watching my sister breakdown. I think even Nathan sniffed a few times.

"Alright everyone, the boy needs his rest." the doctor shooed them out of the room. Then he turned to Marinette. "You wanna stay in here, little lady?" he asked Marinette.

She nodded.

"Alright then. Make sure he gets some sleep." the doctor said before leaving the room.

We were both silent for a long while. I tried to sleep but it was difficult with Marinette staring down at me.

"Hey, uh," I finally addressed her, "don't you have school or something?" I mumbled. Trying to find a subtle way to tell her to leave me alone.

Marinette sighed, "Well, I never found out who the real culprit was. So... guess who's expelled from school?" she chuckled.

I looked away, "Oh."

I felt Marinette's disappointed gaze on me.

I guess I am being pretty harsh. But every time I look at her, I'm reminded of the scene I saw of her and Adrien right before I had my heart attack.

No amount of persuading myself will ever make me love her the same way again.

I still liked her, I can't get rid of that feeling, but now I'm just hurting myself and it sucks.

"So..." Marinette said after a few minutes of awkward silence. "how are you feeling?" she asked.

A sigh escaped my lips, "Exhausted." I replied curtly. When I saw Marinette's shoulders drop, I felt bad and added, "I'm also kind of hungry."

She smiled, "I'll get some food. Healthy stuff only." she told me.

I nodded at the ceiling, "Knock yourself out. And take your time, I'm not that hungry."

Marinette left after a few seconds of deafening quiet.

I sighed in relief. Then I mentally slapped myself.

I feel extremely guilty for feeling this way about her now. I was head over heels in love  with Marinette, but now...

I shook my head. She's still my friend. Don't be so selfish. I reminded myself.

If Marinette is happy with Adrien, then I should be happy for her too.

As I sighed of boredom, I saw a tiny blue jay fluttering right outside the window on a tree branch in front of my bed.

I blinked as it turned its head to meet my eyes.

It was awfully small for a regular jay. It's staring, black, beady eyes bore into my soul.

"Luka."

I flinched. Did it just call my name?

"Luka!"

The dream vanished from my sight. I was instead introduced to the fresh, delicious smell of chinese dumplings along with Marinette's face.

I blinked a few times. The jay I saw was just a in dream.

But why did it feel so meaningful? The small, fluffy bird didn't leave my thoughts as I was eating the dumplings.

"Did you rest well?" Marinette asked after chewing and swallowing a dumpling. I shrugged, staring at my feet at the other end of the hospital bed.

"When will you be out of the hospital?" she said. I shrugged again.

A few seconds of silence fill the awkward air between us.

Fatigue struck at me again. I began to feel light headed. My eyelids felt heavy.

I slowly started to drift back to sleep. I didn't fight it. I was silently grateful for the interruption, as I couldn't think of an excuse to not talk to Marinette right now.

I saw Marinette's worried glance right before I let the sleepiness blanket over me again.