Unfortunately Yours( In Progressing/Editing/Fine Tuning)

Chapter 5

PRESENT- Vanessa

I feel like a rag thats been rung out one too many times. My nerves are almost non-existent, yanked apart into nothing more than scraps.
        Being alone with him is unnerving. I feel feverish and ridiculously aware of him.  This close proximity is making my head spin and my legs shake. I don't have feelings for him. I locked him away with all the other memories of that time. But if that were the case why does my body feel like it's aching to be against him? Like it's finally found the one thing it's been missing.
        I lean over and grab my camera bag and I inhale the scent that is so familiar yet foreign. Sandalwood, spearmint and earthy male, the smell is like my darkest dream becoming a reality.
        "So where do you find your inspiration?" I attempt small conversation so we can ease into this situation. The air is stale and smells like tension, or maybe it smells like something I don't want to think about.
       He brushes his platinum locks behind his ear and I get reeled into the blue pools of his eyes. I am on the edge of the sea and like a siren his soul is calling to me.
       "Life." He shrugs. He holds my gaze with unwaivering force. I swallow, I forgot how sexy he is. How powerful his presence is. How my body responds to him in such a natural way it's bothersome. 
       His lip curls.
Then I feel his hand circle around my wrist an he yanks me down. I fall onto him and my breath stalls. Our mouths have only a hairlines worth of space between us. His breath is warm and sweet and I want to taste him. I want to nibble on his hoop and get lost in the sensation of our past.
       But I can't. I have Carter to think about. I try to pull away but he holds me where I am. His eyes fall to my lips and his voice is like a caress stroking my heart in all the wrong ways that feel too right.
       "Why did you run Angel?"
His voice is low and throaty but there's a slight falter in it and it shatters me. I feel like bursting into tears and wrapping myself in his arms. He would never forgive me and I cannot forgive him.
       "You know why.." I breath.
A deep sigh escapes his mouth and he lets me go.
       I realize at this moment I cannot work with him. I can't fall into this never ending hole that will suffocate me till I take my last breath.
       I sling my bag over my shoulder and rush out of the trailer. I sprint toward my car and fumble with my keys.
       The trailer door swings open and the look on his face is unbearable. I still can't get the damn key in the door and he gets to me before I can unlock it. He holds his hand against the door and I stare at him incredulously.
       "Where are you going?" He hisses. His eyes fall to my lips again and I feel something inside of me unleash. It takes every ounce of will power I hold within my body to keep myself in check.
        "I can't do this Carter... I can't make the same mistake. I have a little boy that depends on me. I had to build everything I had with nothing and no one to help me and i'll be damned if my downfall will be for a decent lay!" I shove his chest pushing him back.
       What a horribly satisfying mistake that was. He grabs my wrists and pins them to each side of me. His mouth is hovering over mine in a sick torture. A weak groan escapes my lips and my eyes widen at the sound.
       His eyes darken in that fundamental way that always made me feel powerful and beautiful. He presses his hips into me and I have to fight back the urge to moan. He wants me and if he doesn't stop he will most certainly get me.
        "There's no point in fighting this Angel. I will destroy you and be there to hold you together after I break you into pieces." He whispers like he is already melting me from the inside out. I fight back the urge to throw my head back and give into his cruel words that are filled with so many dark promises. 
        His lips move over my cheek hovering above my skin and the heat is scorching me to death in all the right places.
       "But I will let you pretend you can control yourself. I'll let you pretend you stand a chance against this."
       He lets go of me and leaves me cold and wanting. His wicked smile makes my blood burn. He is most certainly playing with me, and boy do I like to play. But I know how this game ends, it ends with me broken into a million pieces that I cannot put back together.
       I rip my door open and jump inside of my car. I roll down my window and he is watching me so intently that goosebumps break out all over my body like hives. How can one small look from this infuriatining man do this to me.
        "I'll be telling Mr. Brock he will need to find a new photographer." I growl.
        His mouth curves in that damn smile that got me into trouble in the first place. He leans over and his smile widens.
        "No you won't. Because you wouldn't do that to your son. And because I will refuse to work with anyone else. See you tomorrow kitten."
       His tousled hair falls into his eyes and I fight the urge to rip his hair out of his head.
      
      

I sling open my front door and trudge inside. I feel wrecked and exhausted and my mind is whirling from all these different emotions that I haven't felt in a long time.
       I put my hand against the wall and lean against it for support.
       I hear small footsteps running toward me and my spirit instantly lifts. Carson screeches and leaps into my arms.
       "Oh I missed you so much my sweet boy." I hug him as tight as I can without hurting him.
        "Where's Leelee?"
Leelee is the nickname he made for Helena. And she adores that she was gifted with her very own name by him.
       "Room!" He points to Helena's room. I smile and kiss his soft cheek.
       
       "Hey gorgeous!" Lena winks at me as carson and I enter. She tilts her head to the side and raises an inquisitive brow. 
       "You look flustered, the good kinda flustered." She purrs.
        I roll my eyes. Frustration is like foreplay to this crazy vixen.
        "Oh I'm flustered alright. That amazing opportunity that Rhigel was going on about? Yeah well it includes babysitting Carter Arik Jensen." I hiss.
       Helena's mouth falls open and I fight back the urge to laugh at her bewildered expression.
        "Your kidding!"
I shake my head.
         "When big guy over there goes to sleep I expect a full vividly detailed explanation." She demands as if she were a teacher hounding a less than involved student that was always late for class.
       "Yes Mom."

As I lay in bed my mind goes back to each moment Carter and I shared. I still get butterflies thinking about the way his touch use to send me into a place that was alive and beautiful.
        And then a place so dark and lonely that I blink back tears.