Dead Reckoning - A Gregorio del Pilar x Reader story

XXXI - Mal de Coucou

n. a phenomenon in which you have an active social life but very few close friends—people who you can trust, who you can be yourself with, who can help flush out the weird psychological toxins that tend to accumulate over time—which is a form of acute social malnutrition in which even if you devour an entire buffet of chitchat, you'll still feel pangs of hunger.

* * *

I am dragging my feet as I follow them. After all, I can't understand what is this I am feeling. I am torn with worry over the boy; hatred with the idea of him being used as some intelligence submitted to interrogation against his brothers; guilt that I am involved with the people that are hunting for his brothers; and anger that Goyo, indeed, agreed to proceed on with such method to search the Bernal brothers. And now, we're in front of Don Nable Jose's house close to the shoreline of the Lingayen Gulf, where, according to what intel they've gained, one of the Bernal brothers are.

I didn't join Goyo, Julian and Enteng as they head in to meet with Don Nable Jose. I remain outside the house of visibly one of the—if not—richest in town. A few moments later, I notice the soldiers arrive holding Angel Bernal. I watch him for a second and with just a glance, I immediately turn my head away. Afraid of what hatred could flash on his eyes right now. And I don't want to remember being part of all of this, knowing how all of this will truly haunt me.

A few minutes later, we hear a commotion going on from the inside of the house. And someone jumps from a window, causing Angel Bernal to scream, "Kuya".

Everything seems to happen in slow motion. In the end, I am immobile with what just unfold in front of me. I only snap back to reality the moment that Enteng had ordered the soldiers to bring the brothers away.

"'Wag niyo siyang sasaktan, Heneral," Don Nable Jose remarks, appearing by the doorway.

A few seconds later, a beautiful young woman draws closer to the entrance of the house, causing Goyo, who is about to speak up, to be interrupted.

Finally, he manages to say, "Huwag po kayo mag-alala, señor."

I grasp the sides of my skirt to keep my hands from shaking. My thoughts run toward a wall of what is about to happen next. And here he is saying that everything's just going to be fine.

"Halika na. Huy," Enteng impatiently remarks.

A smile is audible on Goyo's voice when he continues, "At pasensya na po sa gulo. Hayaan niyong punan ko ang pinsala sa pagbalik ko."

"Babalik ka?" Enteng inquires another time.

Julian laughs before placing an arm around Goyo's shoulders to pull him away.

Goyo tips his hat at the two, saying, "Paalam po."

As I follow the three of them, I can't help imagining that Goyo is completely fixated by the young woman. After all, the young woman is very beautiful. The essence of a well-bred Filipina visible with how she carries herself. She's different from the other girls I've seen around Dagupan, trying to flirt with Goyo openly. However, even though it had been their first meeting, of course, the young woman doesn't show any interest at all. She appears calm and steadfast. And she is surely everything that Goyo had envisioned to be his one. Perhaps, I can even agree to say that she is the most beautiful woman I've seen around town. No wonder that a general as Goyo will be captivated. And knowing his recent exploit with women, no wonder that he'll start courting her.

For some reasons, something painful pricks my soul. The necklace seems to weigh much heavier, pulling me to the ground. Perhaps, it is time to finally let go of all those emotions. And focus instead on my role.