Dead Reckoning - A Gregorio del Pilar x Reader story

XLI - Rubatosis

n. the unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat.

* * *

One evening after days of creating the trenches at Tirad, after dinner, along with the rest of the townspeople and the soldiers, we've gathered around a pit of a bonfire. We've been invited by the mayor himself to watch the show that the Aetas are to perform. With the mayor, seated next to him had been President Aguinaldo himself, then Goyo, me, Enteng and the President's wife and sister. The rest goes on for the other soldiers and townspeople present. Most of them had been standing behind to watch the performance, for those who aren't able to sit among the inner cirle. But, also, there are others who aren't around as they continue on with their patrol of the area.

As the performance continues on, both I and Goyo hear the mayor when he says to the President, "Maraming salamat sa inyong pagpapaunlak sa munting palabas ng mga kapitbahay namin."

President Aguinaldo keeps his eyes watching the performance as he whispers back, "Mabuti naman at nagkakasundo kayo dito."

During my time in Dagupan, I've noticed how the soldiers mock the natives all the time. Not to mention how they criticize them and order them to return back to their lands. For me, this is some sort of discrimination. I just didn't thought that the discrimination will be this much and had been going on even during these times.

"May kanya-kanyang away ang mga tribo dito," the mayor explains. "Nagkakasundo lamang kami dahil tinutulungan namin sila sa pagsalakay nila."

A few seconds later, as the performance continues, one from the performers unveil an almost shrunken head, beheaded, as it is placed close to the bonfire as they continue.

My first instinct is to shy away, not being able to take in the sight. My hands shot up to cover my eyes, afraid.

I know that Goyo had seen my reaction, but he didn't comment about it. Due to that, I slowly peek through my fingers to look at him, avoiding the view of the performance.

And when I do so, I realize that his eyes are intently focused onto the view of the head itself and the fire. Some unexplained expression he has now as if there are things that are currently troubling his mind and seeing it will remove all of it.

I didn't ask him what could be troubling him, even when the performance ends. I just follow after him to the hut provided to us. I am to share a room with him and Enteng this time, even though the townspeople first insisted that I am to stay with the other women, Goyo remarked, as always that I stay with him; and no other questions are asked after that.

Sleep didn't visit me right away. Everytime I turn here and there, I can't forget the sight of the head itself. And the stillness of the night seems strange, not having the need to make a tent and sleep, and pack everything up the next morning. Perhaps, the plan that Goyo had proposed is originally the one that is keeping me awake even at this time.

A few hours later, Goyo immediately awakes. He whispers, "Ano yun? Parang may bumagsak." Then turns to Enteng, sleeping on a hammock in the room, waking for a second at Goyo's question before returning to sleep. He also looks at me and notices that I am staring at him intently. A few seconds passed before he sighs heavily and moves away from the bed as he takes a peak at the nearby window, and draws closer to the doorway to the other room to check for the President, his wife and his sister, surely still sound asleep. He again looks at me, knowing that I am watching his movements, inclines his head to the direction of the other room. It is as if he realizes that no one from us will be able to be catching any more sleep, like those times that we've been in Dagupan.

I didn't hesitate to follow after him a minute later, take my shawl and surround it around my frame. In silence, the two of us move out of the room.