Dead Reckoning - A Gregorio del Pilar x Reader story

XLII - Rigor Samsa

n. a kind of psychological exoskeleton that can protect you from pain and contain your anxieties, but always ends up cracking under pressure or hollowed out by time—and will keep growing back again and again, until you develop a more sophisticated emotional structure, held up by a strong and flexible spine, built less like a fortress than a cluster of tree houses.

* * *

A few hours later and the sky starts to lighten up a little. Dusk is breaking. At the same time that birds start chirpping and the chicken crowed, signifying the start of a new day. I've tried sleeping but no matter how hard I try, I just end up closing my eyes to make Goyo believed that I've fallen asleep. His breathing suggests that he hadn't slept, since there's an avid difference between a sleeping person's breathing pattern than anything otherwise.

Keeping my eyes closed, Goyo moves out of the embrace and the bed as slowly as possible. As if afraid that his actions will cause me to wake up when he didn't know the truth otherwise. Afterwards, I hear not only him waking, but as well as Enteng. Their footsteps against the bamboo flooring suggest their movements as they cloth themselves in their uniform, heading onward to where they are needed to be right now.

I hear Enteng from the doorway, calling softly and with urgency, "Goyo, halika na."

"Susunod ako," Goyo remarks. "Ipahanda mo na ang mga kabayo."

I didn't hear Enteng's reply after that, followed only by distant footsteps. But then, I feel a hand brushing my hair and fingers weaving onto the strands. I try all I could not to open my eyes to actually see how close we are at each other. And before I know it, all the while debating within myself, I feel the warmth of his kiss on my forehead and him saying with that hint of a smile on his voice, "Sana... mas matagal pa tayong nagkasama. Paalis na ako, (Y/N)."

Before I know it, he is already out of the hut. I open my eyes when his footsteps slowly disappear. I draw closer to the doorway but I don't have the strength to even move out to see or talk to him another time. However, from where I stay right now, I can hear him and the President conversing to one another.

"Babalik na kayo sa Tirad?" I hear the President asking. I didn't hear a reply, but after a minute, the President continues with a little dismay and worry, "Hindi magandang pamahiin ito."

I gulp in hard, wondering what President Aguinaldo means by that.

"Nasa Pasong Tirad ang mga tauhan ko," Goyo remarks without any hesitation. "Tungkulin kong pamunuan sila at protektahan kayo. At humihingi na rin ako ng tawad sa lahat ng pagkakamali ko."

"Madami na tayong pinagdaanan, Goyo. Ang importante'y makabalik ka."

"Opo, Señor Presidente. Mabuhay ang Republika."

A few more seconds passed and I hear the gallop of horses against the ground, one that finally draw me to head closer to the entrance of the hut, seeing for myself him and Enteng, astride their horses, heading on to Tirad. I watch them until their figures disappear in the distance before returning back to the hut. I take a quick look at the empty bed and the hammock before drawing closer to the window, clutching my shawl closer around me as the cold breeze sweeps in.

The thought that my last memory of him and Enteng had been them heading to an assured battle. Not to mention that it had been the same way when I've seen Isidro, Juan and Jose leave a few days ago, along with the other volunteer soldiers to create and protect the Pass. Among them, only Goyo and Enteng who return by dawn. But today, it seems they're not.

"(Y/N)?"

I turn to where the President is at the doorway, with a cup of coffee on one hand. I am about to stand and curtsy at him, but he raises his hand at me and shakes his head a little.