This is a rant... kinda.
Sometimes I believe that I'm the only one who realizes that words have limits. Have boundaries. My psychologist said that knowing this is a side effect from having an above average IQ. When she said this I thought "and yet, you still ask how I'm feeling." You see, because I understand this, when I try to put feelings into words, I feel as though I'm trying to drain ocean with a bucket full of holes. When I say that I'm sad, I mean as though I am the only being left, as though everyone I love has died, as though I'm drowning and others are breathing all around me. When I say I'm happy, I mean as though I've just met my soulmate, as if nothing is going wrong, as if there is nothing that could tear me down. Because of this, I have trouble expressing my feelings fully to people. A simple "so how are you?" can raise so many words, yet often not enough, because they don't quite fit. So my usual reply is just "I'm fine, and you?" Phrases or sentences can sometimes be better, but for me the best possible way to communicate what I'm feeling would be to take on all my thoughts and feelings. Maybe someone else can finally figure out how I'm feeling. Unfortunately this capability doesn't yet exist. So for now, paragraphs and speeches are the best way to communicate. Unfortunately for me, not everyone has the time to sit down and read what I wrote, I hardly have the time to process thoughts! This causes a lot, and I mean a lot, repressed or bottled up emotions. The "bad" emotions, as I call them. Sadness, all forms of it really, anger, guilt, anything not positive basically. Because of this, the smallest thing can push me over the edge. Something as simple as my sister blasting her music while I'm trying to concentrate could make me explode like a nuclear bomb. I can try to control it, but it often just ends up getting repressed to be exploded out at another random moment. I know this isn't healthy, but it is the only way I know how to deal with the "bad" emotions.
Thank you for listening. (Reading? I dunno)
YOU ARE READING
My Poems
Poesiahey whats up? this is a book of all the crappy poems i write. WARNING!! IF YOU DO NOT LIKE DEPRESSED POEMS, DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT READ THIS! also no mean criticizing. i know my spelling and grammar are terrible. if you want to give constructive...
