The Train To Nowhere

chapter 13 - changes

Despite our terrible hangovers from the previous night, the party was still undeniably a success. Even two weeks later, everyone was still talking about it. In the moment, we had all felt ecstatically excited, fuelled by alcohol, the music and (in the case of Phil and a few other friends) marijuana. I wondered how he even got his hands on the stuff in the first place. Did he have a doobage patch growing at the back of his garden? Wouldn't his parents notice anyway? The thought was amusing, but I didn't care to ponder it further. But every fun time must come to an end, and every four vodka jelly shots and two beers comes with a price. Anyhow, the other small aspect of the evening that was different from the other feelings and rare and new, I had hoped would go away. I had dismissed it initially, but after a fortnight of school and work and assignments and her presence, unfortunately it was the opposite. Was that unfortunate? It certainly wasn't good for our friendship, that's for sure. But it wasn't like I could switch off these feelings! After days and days of trying all that I had accomplished was even stronger feelings for my dear friend Rosabella Winters.

At first they scared me. And they still do. How could I be suddenly attracted to someone who's been like a sister to me my whole life? I've never seen her in this light, and undoubtedly she never has either. It made my life so much harder now I had a crush (or whatever it was) on her now. I hated myself for indulging in these thoughts, put I couldn't push them away. The way her big eyes sparkled when she smiled, and the dimples in the corner of her cheeks. Her little, dark beauty spot below her right eye, like a tiny speck. Her lips, which were soft, round and slightly pouty in her resting expression. Her skin looked as soft as pillow feathers and her cheeks round and rosy like apples. I took notice more on the shape of her body. She had soft curves, with a small waist and wider hips and thighs, and her chest curved equally with them. Even her hands, when she sat next to me and wrote down her notes, were graceful, with long fingers and smooth, plain nails. Of course, I wasn't blind. I'd seen all these things before. But as soon as your feelings towards a person change, everything that was just 'there' before becomes highlighted and (with all of these aspects put together) makes your heart skip beats inside your chest.

So two weeks after the party, which seemed like so long ago now, Rosie walked in and my heart and brain malfunctioned again. How could anyone be so beautiful? Even Jayde or Clara were no match for her in my mind. They already seemed plain in comparison with her. Especially when she walked in that morning in tutor and drew the eyes of everyone in the room.

"Asebe?"

"Here, sir." Mr Kennedy always called our surnames out when he checked off the register, don't ask me why. As he got further and further down the list Rosie still hadn't arrived, and unless she was off sick or something she would be registered as late.

"Chung?"

"Here, sir."

"Kates?"

"Here, sir."

"Queboye?"

"Here, sir," I responded to my name.

"Williams?"

"Here, sir."

"Winters?" No answer. Everyone's eyes flicked across the classroom and over to Rosie's seat on the desk behind me, but the chair was empty. Noah sat next to her for tutor, and was sprawled out over their shared desk with his eyes closed, taking advantage of the extra space. Silence.

"Has anyone seen Rose?" Not a word was spoken. "Right then," Mr Kennedy said with an air of finality. He tapped the blank space key that I knew teachers used when completing the register to mark students absent, and then continued. I frowned. Usually Rosie was always punctual, and the way Mr Kennedy had said "right then" sounded like she hadn't had permission to be absent from a doctor or anything. It was probably nothing though, so I just slouched over on my desk and rested my chin in my palm - bored, as always. It was only ten minutes later, when tutor was due to finish soon that Rosie arrived, but she didn't look quite like the usual Rosie.