The Train To Nowhere

chapter 23 - glances

Days passed as we sailed through Europe on the train, and we endured many sleepless nights, up late chatting, and many early morning starts. This wasn't well-received within a group of seventeen year-olds, but we coped. And it was all worth it for the beautiful sights we saw and awesome places we visited, which always managed to lift my mood like nothing else could. Well, there was always one thing that I knew would lift me out of my misery, of course, but I had to manage without it, didn't I?

        "Except maybe you don't," Nina confessed to me one rainy day in Milan. We'd already visited the gothic Duomo di Milano and Nina was fortunately in my group this time.

           "What?" I asked, suddenly fully alert and confused at the same time.

           "Rosie - well, she... I really shouldn't be telling you this-"

           "Nina, just tell me. Please?"

           "Okay, so... well, basically - Rosie told me that she's..."

          "What?"

           "That she's starting to have feelings for you. Not just friendly thoughts. She's starting to see you in a different light."

          "Really?" I asked, flabbergasted.

           "That's what she told me," Nina explained casually, "But please don't tell her I told you."

I was silent for a few minutes, taking in what she said. For the first minute, I couldn't believe it. For the second minute, I started to believe it, but I was processing it. The third minute, I was contemplating what to do about it, or thinking if Rosie was going to do anything about it.

           "What do you think I?... do you think she's going to do anything?" I voiced my thoughts to Nina.

        "Oh, I'm sure of it. She definitely will, but I don't know when. It might take her a while."

I nodded to show that I respected that. I honestly didn't know what to think. I was scared. How could I deal with something so huge after I'd spent so long trying to get over it? I was confused. How could she begin to have feelings for me when she hasn't spoken to me for over a month now? And I was angry. Why couldn't she have just told me this before she'd broken my heart? Why couldn't it be that the universe let us align when we both fell in love at the same time, not much later? I'd spent so long trying to push away the feelings, I'd barely even considered the slight possibility that she could share my feelings. Now I was just so unsure and didn't know how to feel.

         "Nina?"

         "Yeah?" she responded after I caught her attention.

         "Do you-"

But then we were cut off by Mr Woods announcing that we'd reached the aquarium. It was apparently a marvelous aquarium built only a few years ago to be an inter-water experience. I supposed this meant a glass tube that we stroll through and stare around at the fish swimming above our heads. Wasn't the most exciting thing to visit considering all our past sight-seeing and incredible views, but it was okay. We didn't need to split off in our groups this time, but the aquarium was still a lot bigger than I expected. The glass tunnels branched off into three separate tunnels around the enormous water tanks, and it was vaguely fun to gaze at the turtles and tiny minnows to a few slimy, blubbering big fish. And it felt like the whole world was a shimmering, mysterious blueness in that moment.

I came close to the edge of the glass and stared across at the sand floor on the other side. The seaweed that had been planted across it, and the little fish peaking in and out between it. Then I saw the glass tunnel opposite, and Rosie was staring back out at me from it. Her blue hair was the colour of the lights and water, and her blue eyes were too. When I made eye contact with her, I was tempted to quickly look away like I always did. But I didn't this time. I stared straight through the glass at her and her eyes remained captivated on mine. The moment felt frozen in time, while the fish seemed to dance between us and the aqua water glistened and glimmered over her face. And I saw something different in her eyes then. Something that I knew I didn't dream up, and that I knew for sure confirmed Nina's confession. It wasn't a dream.

She smiled at me. And I smiled back. And I swear, just then, I knew it was all mystically and beautifully real.