Broken

New Years Engagement

I'd left Malcolm a note before leaving the next morning after Jessica arrived to keep an eye on him. I drove as calmly as I could back to Claremont Psychiatric Hospital to see Dr. Martin Whitly.
"I can give you ten minutes. His solitary confinement isn't over yet." Warden Logan Smith told me.
"I just want him to know what happened after our meeting last week." I assured him.
"That's surprisingly kind of you." He remarked.
"It might have ended differently if I hadn't gotten there when I did and that is, in part, due to the information we received from Dr. Whitly." I answered.
"Right through here." He lead me down the hallway back to the cell.
"Dr. Whitly. You have a visitor." He told him before leaving us alone.
"Malcolm isn't with you? He's gone?" Martin said looking at me with an oddly concerned expression.
"He's at home resting with his mom." I answered.
"He's okay?" He asked me.
"He's alive and I was able to bring him home, but I wouldn't say okay. He went through a lot during the time he was with Watkins."
Martin closed his eyes almost looking pained.
"I made a lot of mistakes... Bad decisions when it came to my son, but I never wanted this. Will you tell him that? Please?"
"Sure. I will. I just came to tell you we found him alive and to thank you for the information you gave to help me find him. I should get back to him now." I nodded at him.
"Thank you, Lilian." He mused sitting down facing away from me.
When I arrived home Jessica looked at me wordlessly and gestured into the living room. Like so many moments since we'd found him, Malcolm was staring off at one of the walls seeing and experiencing something completely different from the walls of the living room.
"Malcolm?" I said his name gently before touching his shoulder as to avoid startling him.
"Do you think we can get everyone to come over tomorrow night for New Years?" Malcolm asked looking up at me as if nothing was the matter.
"As long as they don't have plans I don't see why not." I answered deciding that he would tell me exactly what happened when he was ready to.
"I'll find out."
"Okay. I just think that we have a lot to be thankful for at the start of this new decade and they are a large part of that." He explained.
"That we do. If you want them here I'll do the best I can to get them here." I smiled at him.
Malcolm went back into the bedroom to take a nap while I made a number of calls confirming all of our friends coming over for a small New Years party at roughly nine pm the next day.
"Is this like a formal thing?" Dani asked me when I called her.
"We just want your company Dani. We'll have some snacks and things and ring in the New Year together. His mother will be here and she and his sister will probably dress up and I like to dress up. When we were in college we would dress up and ring in the New Year in my apartment." I smiled at the memory.
"So, yes?" She asked.
"Come as you choose. We want you to be comfortable." I said.
"Okay. I'll be there nine o'clock." She had a smile in her voice.
Jessica sat down next to me at the dining room table as I hung up with Edrisa.
"Is he going to be okay?" She asked me reaching for my hand.
"That's a hard question to answer, Jessica." I answered with a sigh before turning to look at her.
"Physically he'll be fine. The bruises and bones will heal and while he may have a scar on his side ultimately it'll heal. Psychologically, emotionally that's harder to guess. Malcolm and I haven't even talked about what happened and I don't want to push him into it. That'll just make it worse for him. Something serious happened during that time. All we can do is wait and let him process what happened. He'll talk to us when he's ready." I squeezed her hand gently.
"What did Martin say?" She asked me.
"He told me he's made bad decisions but he never wanted this. He thanked me for coming down to tell him that we found him alive and I left." I answered.
"Do you believe that?"
"I honestly don't know. Malcolm will have to make that decision after Martin is removed from solitary." I shrugged.
"He's manipulated him for so long." She mused.
"I know. If he asks my opinion I'll give it to him but he's grown. I can't make his decisions for him."
"I know. He's too stubborn to let you anyway." She chuckled dryly.
"That he is." I laughed too.
"All we can do is be there for him and support him the best we can."
She nodded.
"I've talked to Edrisa, Ainsley, Eve, Dani, Ashlyn, Gil and obviously your mother. I've left messages for JT, and Colette." I told Malcolm when he wandered into the kitchen in the early afternoon after Jessica left.
"Colette?" He asked gently wrapping his arms around me.
"Yeah. She lost her boyfriend. If I'd lost you..." I shook my head.
Cautiously, he tightened his grip on me.
"You didn't. I'm right here." He told me.
"Yeah, I know." I nodded.
I glanced down at my phone as a text rang in.
"It's Gil. He wants me to sit in on the interrogation for John Watkins." I explained.
"When did you find that out?" He asked his anxiety leaking through his tone.
"When I called him to talk about the party while you we're napping. I won't be gone long." I assured him.
"I want to go with you." He said.
"Are you sure that's a good idea?" I asked gently.
"I'll just stay in the viewing room. Please, Lily. I don't want to be away from you." He pushed, his eyes panicked.
"Alright, but I'm having Dani stay with you as a precaution. I'm sorry I left this morning." I caved with a sigh.
"I know why you did and I'll behave." He teased kissing my temple.
"Go get dressed. They're already waiting."
When we walked in Gil pulled Malcolm aside while I talked to Dani.
"Gil and I are going to do the interrogation for Watkins. I want you to watch with Malcolm. Do your best to keep him calm, please. Remind him that Gil's not going to let anything happen to me." I told her.
"Hey, Lily. Tally says we're in. We were just going to stay home anyway." JT told me walking passed me.
"Wonderful. We'll see you at nine." I smiled at him.
"Do you need us to bring anything?" He asked.
"Drinks I guess. I go a little crazy with food prep when I host a party." I giggled softly.
"Ready to do this?" Gil asked walking up to us.
"As ready as I can be." I answered.
I looked over at Malcolm who nodded at me before disappearing with Dani into the viewing room.
"Are you sure about this?" Gil asked calmly as I held onto the doorknob.
I looked through the door at the disheveled man sitting at the table. His hands were cuffed to the table and his feet shackled together.
"Yeah. Let's get this over with, so Malcolm and I can go home." I said before pushing the door open.
"Johnathan Watkins. Born November twentieth 1962 to Georgia Watkins; daughter of Matilda and Benjamin Watkins. Father unknown." I said as Gil and I sat down across from him.
"Because my mother was a whore!" He yelled clearly trying to get a reaction out of me.
"Is that so?" I asked.
"And how do you know that?"
"Grandmother told me." He said finally looking at me.
"You're the pretty girlfriend. I'm surprised little Malcolm isn't in here. How's the broken ribs? The bruises on your throat... I could have done better. I can see you were able to keep your hair despite the blood loss." He looked around the room.
"I'm Chief Lilian Russell of the FBI, and if I have my way you'll never see him again." I smiled at him.
"Protective. Interesting." He kept his eyes on me.
"I'm not here to talk about me or Malcolm. I'm here to talk about you. Or rather your mother." I met his gaze.
"What about her?" He spat at me.
"Only that she was clean since she found out she was pregnant with you. Mandatory drug tests throughout the pregnancy. She got a job as a 911 operator in New Jersey about six months after you were born, which I should mention also required a drug test which she also passed. She'd have made an impressive five dollars an hour. A full two dollars more than the median male income in 1963. Only... she died before she was able to move you to Jersey. Odd isn't it?" I asked.
"She was clean fifteen months with a six month old son that by all accounts she adored and she decided to relapse?" Gil added looking at me.
"Seems odd to me. From what I see in the file not much investigation was done at all. Not even an autopsy. My guess is that that syringe they found in your mother's arm wasn't filled with heroin at all but rather some poison of some sort."
"Arsenic?" Gil asked.
"It was common at the time. It would have been extremely painful to have arsenic injected into her bloodstream." I nodded.
"No. She left me." John told us.
"I'm a world renowned forensic psychiatrist. My boyfriend is a criminal profiler and should I allow you anywhere near him again, which I won't, he'd likely tell you the exact same thing: It doesn't fit. What does fit is a grandmother considering her daughter unworthy of raising her own son and killing her when she realizes that she plans to move him out of state." I explained.
"No." He shook his head.
"Makes sense to me." Gil shrugged.
"Is it really that far fetched, John? She taught you how to kill? She made you. Put you up to crushing your grandfather under that car? That is how you decided how you'd kill all of your victims? What were you? Ten?" I asked.
"He was abusive." He whispered.
"We know that. The evidence is all over the house. The closet in your bedroom with the lock on the outside." I looked at him.
"Your boyfriend locked me in a trunk!" He shot at me.
"You abducted him and threatened his family. If it had been me, I would have killed you." I shot back.
"You're no better than me!"
"Except I am. I only kill when absolutely necessary. To protect the community and the people I love. Self defense is not the same thing as what you've done." I shot back at him.
"I don't remember when it started. As far back as I can remember. She didn't protect me. No one protected me." He muttered.
"But she taught you how to end it, didn't she?" I pushed.
"Yeah. She did. And yes, Dr. Russell, that's how I decided how I killed my victims." He told me.
"I'm going to give you a pad of paper and a pen and I want you to write down everything that happened. Everything you've done. Everyone you've killed. Then I need you to sign your name to it."
He nodded solemnly.
Gil and I walked out of the interrogation room and I walked away from him into the viewing room where Malcolm and Dani were watching and stepped into his arms.
"Are you okay?" He whispered.
I nodded with a sigh.
"Are you?" I asked.
He nodded looking down into my face.
"Let's get out of here." I urged.
"Happily." He smiled at me.
"Hey, Lily. I'm in for your party tomorrow. Thank you for the invite." Colette smiled at Malcolm and I as we walked out of the viewing room.
"Good to hear. We look forward to seeing you." I smiled back.
"The more the merrier." Malcolm faked a smile.
"You said that we have a lot to be thankful for. And Colette came through for us. Lead the team to breach the cabin. When it came down to it she had my back." I told him quietly as we continued walking out of the station.
"Alright. Alright. Heard." He pressed his lips to my temple.
"What's the head count?"
"Total including us is twelve." I answered.
"I suppose you want a full spread?"
"You love cooking with me." I smiled innocently at him.
"That's very true. I do love cooking with you." He smiled at me.
Suddenly, a wave of dizziness washed over me causing me to stumble.
"Lily?" Malcolm asked me touching my shoulder.
"It's just the concussion." I sighed.
"Are you okay to drive home?" He asked.
"Yeah. Then I need to rest before tomorrow."
"An early night sounds like a great idea to me." He smiled.
The next morning came too quickly and we had a lot to prepare for the party we were hosting.
Malcolm and I returned home from grocery shopping around noon.
"Do we really need all this stuff?" He asked as we loaded the multitude of bags onto the counter.
"Yes, Malcolm. Options." I insisted.
"I love when you get in party planning mode. It's sexy." He mused running his fingertips over my arm.
"Is that so? Too bad the broken ribs and stitches make sex an impossibility right now." I smirked at him.
"You don't have stitches." He teased.
"Your stitches, you brat and my staples." I growled playfully swatting his arm.
"Help me pull out the stuff for the Cranberry-Lime Pie. That takes the longest."
"We have over eight hours, Lily."
"Yes and after all the cooking we still have to shower and change." I reminded him.
"Fair. Fair." He smiled at me.
We danced cautiously around the kitchen to loud music as we made the wide array of desserts: Burnt Caramel Custards, Chocolate-Caramel Pecan Tarts, Red Velvet Cheesecake Bites, Toasted Pecan Torte with Butterscotch Topping before we started on the appetizers.
Bacon Crack Bites, Cheesy Baked Meatballs, Steak Frites Bites, French Dip Sliders, Garlicky Shrimp Dip.
Then touching back on Chocolate Churro Dip, and Snickerdoodle Party Cookies, and finishing up with Pasta Chips, Homemade Pita Chips, and finally Garlicky Shrimp Cocktails.
"Do we have time for a quick nap? I can't believe that we have been in this kitchen for five hours." Malcolm chuckled.
"It wasn't a straight five hours and we had fun, didn't we?" I asked.
"Of course we did. I love blasting music at top volume and dancing around the kitchen with you. I've missed it actually." He smiled wrapping his arms around me.
"I did too." I pressed my lips to his.
"Nap?" He pushed.
"A small nap." I conceded.
After our nap we wrapped his cast in a plastic bag and took a shower together. I ran my hands gently over the bruises on his skin.
"I'm okay." He whispered kissing behind my ear.
"I know." I sighed looking up into his face.
"I love you." He smiled before kissing me.
His hands moved gently over my bruised chest.
"I'm okay too." I nudged him gently.
"I know." He smiled.
"I love you." I kissed him.
I brushed my hair out into glamorous curls and slid into a silver thin double strap A-line Ball Gown with a beaded lace bodice and glittered skirt.
Edrisa arrived first at eight thirty holding two bottles of Dry Chenin Blanc in a dark blue sleeveless satin gown and what looked like very uncomfortable heels.
"Come over here and take those off. I'm going to insist on no uncomfortable shoes here tonight." I smiled at her lifting my skirt to show off my bare feet.
"I know I'm early but I wanted to see if you guys needed any help." She smiled at me.
"We appreciate that. Gil said he'll be here soon too. Malcolm's finishing getting dressed and will be down soon." I smiled leading her into the kitchen.
Malcolm walked into the kitchen wearing black slacks and a classic black jacket over a white button up shirt the buttons undone.
"Can you help me with these?" He asked walking up to me.
I moved the fabric of his shirt so I could examine the stitches.
"Should we cover this?" I asked touching them gingerly.
"No. I want them to air out a little." He smiled at me.
I proceeded to button up his shirt.
"You two are adorable." Edrisa swooned as the doorbell rang.
Gil stood on the porch in a black button up shirt and a grey jacket and slacks with Dani who wore a metallic gold sleeveless flowy sheath dress with a deep V-neck. Both held a bottle of wine. Gil's offering was California Pinot Noir while Dani brought Crianza Rioja.
"Thank you!" I beamed taking Dani's wine bottle and hugging her.
"I saw Edrisa's car." Gil noted.
"Yeah, she got here about ten minutes ago." I smiled at him.
"She's in the kitchen with Malcolm. Dani go ahead and get out of those shoes. No uncomfortable shoes tonight." I motioned them into the kitchen as I noticed another car in the driveway.
JT climbed out of the car in a classic black three piece suit and walked around to open the door for Tally who shined in dark blue thin strapped A-line Ball Gown with a lace bodice.
"Lily!" She exclaimed hugging me carefully.
"We figured everyone would bring wines and things so we decided to bring a bunch of sodas to put in the refrigerator for a bit of a reprieve." She smiled at me.
"Wonderful! We didn't even think of that. Gil's here if JT needs a hand?" I asked.
"Nah, man. I got it." He smiled at me walking into the house carrying six twelve packs of various sodas.
"Kitchen is right through there. Malcolm can help you get them put away." I motioned for him and lead Tally to take her shoes off with everyone else's.
"This is going to be the best high end party ever." She smiled at me.
"Are you guys okay?" She asked me quietly.
"We will be, Tally. Thank you." I smiled at her.
Jessica and Ainsley arrived next. Jessica wore a burgundy off the shoulder mermaid gown while Ainsley wore a red sleeveless A-line Ball Gown with a plunging V-neck. They brought two bottles of high end champagne for the midnight toasts.
"You both look amazing. How are you feeling, Ains?" I asked.
"Not too bad considering." She smiled at me.
I was thoroughly surprised when Jessica agreed to take off her shoes. Together we moved all fourteen dishes to the dinning table we'd moved into the living room against the wall.
The doorbell rang again and I found our last three guests on the porch.
Ashlyn wore a satin white sleeveless beaded A-line gown with a low back.
Eve donned a deep purple strapless A-line Ballgown with a velvet sweetheart bodice.
Colette wore an Emerald one shoulder mermaid gown.
Each held another bottle of wine.
"Thank you for coming." I smiled leading them into the living room.
Malcolm and I pulled out our good wine glasses and handed out glasses of wine to our guests.
"I'd like to say something quickly before we put the music on and get to enjoying ourselves." Malcolm said standing with his arm around me.
"A lot has happened during just this year not to mention the entire decade. Lily and I are so happy to be able to count each one of you among our friends. We've never had a large social circle and hopefully we can start the new decade doing better at letting people in. Thank you all for being here tonight and we truly hope you enjoy yourselves. Here's to each one of you." Malcolm raised his glass and I followed suit.
The party kicked off with Closer by The Chainsmokers. Malcolm and I wandered around my loft for most of the first two hours of our get together doing our best to interact with each of our guests.
"Interesting choice of music." Jessica smiled at me.
"It's a selection of some of our favorite songs of the decade." I smiled at her.
"This isn't a charity event, Jessica. It's a party. Celebrating the beginning of a new year and a new decade. Malcolm decided he wanted everyone here tonight, you included."
"This was Malcolm's idea?" She asked.
"It was."
"Hmm... Alright then."
"Please try to enjoy yourself." I urged.
"This is the happiest I've seen him since..."
"I understand, Lily. To be completely honest, I am enjoying myself. Seeing my children happy is always rewarding." She looked across the room where Malcolm and Ainsley were laughing with Eve and Edrisa.
"It was a really scary couple days." I admitted.
"It was, but I knew you would find him, and so did he." She assured me.
I smiled at her and she excused herself for more wine.
"How are you doing?" Gil asked coming up behind me.
"I'm okay. This is nice. Having everyone here." I smiled at him.
"You both have a much bigger support system than you've had before."
"That's very true." I smiled again.
"Any news on Bryce?"
"No. Nothing yet. No activity on his credit cards or bank accounts either in New York or elsewhere." I answered.
"We'll find him, Lily." He smiled at me.
I nodded as Malcolm walked up to me.
"We've got just under ten minutes until midnight, we should open up the champagne." He said smiling at me.
"Great idea." I smiled back at him.
I found myself just outside the back door on the porch not long after we poured the champagne.
"I thought I'd find you out here." Malcolm said gently joining me outside.
"Seemed like a good place to ring in the new decade." I smiled at him.
"I can only think of one thing better." He said taking my hand gently in his fingers barely poking out of his cast and dropping down to one knee.
"Malcolm..." I whispered his name.
"I know how much you hate clichés but I've thought about this a lot. Our relationship has changed and evolved so much over this decade and I can't imagine a better way to start a new one than right here with you; telling you that I belong with you and I belong to you. I always have. I'm ready to take this next step with you. Now, please, ring in the new year and answer me this, Lilian Jade Russell, will you marry me?" He asked.
"Yes. Yes, I will marry you." I answered wiping a tear from my eye as the clock struck midnight.
Malcolm slid the ring I'd found in his apartment on Christmas day onto my left ring finger before standing to kiss me.
"I never got over you either." He whispered holding me to him causing me to cry harder.
Just inside the door our friends and family broke into applause.
"It's about time, kid." Gil teased Malcolm when we walked back inside.
"Couldn't have done it without you." He smiled at him.
"I picked up the ring from his apartment." Gil told me.
"Of course you did." I shook my head.
Malcolm switched to a different playlist that started with In Case You Didn't Know by Brett Young and spun me into the middle of the living room so we could dance together.
"You know, I've waited all decade for you to ask me to marry you?" I asked him as we swayed.
"Is that so?" He asked.
"It is." I smiled and kissed him.
"Well, it did have to be right." He smirked.
"It certainly was. You're right. I do hate clichés but I love this. I can't imagine beginning this decade anywhere than right here by your side, celebrating our love." I smiled at him.
"Let's see it." Dani said excitedly reaching for my hand.
"Wow, that is a rock. It's gorgeous, Lily." She beamed at me as Eve and Tally looked over her shoulder.
"It's perfect." I smiled over at Malcolm who stood with Gil before looking down at my engagement ring.
"It's about time you officially join our family." Jessica embraced me beaming.
"I'm honored." I smiled back at her as Ainsley ran up to me.
"I've always considered you a sister." She mused hugging me.
After another hour of dancing and laughing with our friends and family we bid them goodnight, put the leftovers away, and put the dishes in the dishwasher before heading up to the bedroom.
"It's too bad sex is off the table." Malcolm muttered kissing my shoulder as he helped me out of my dress.
"I'm sure if we try hard enough, we can figure out a way get creative tonight." I turned around standing before him in only my lingerie to take his face in my hands kissing him.
"I like that idea." He growled low in my ear as I lead him over to our bed.