Self Destruction

Background

         Today is the last day of summer and I'm terrified. School has always been hell for me ever since I was little. Jumping from school to school and getting bullied non-stop for various reason. I've been to 5 different schools in the past 2 years, and over 30 different schools in my whole life. You see, I get sent to different foster families all the time.

        My parents got murdered when I was 3 years old. The day they got murdered I was at my grandparents house with my brother who was 6 years old. My brother and I moved in with our grandparents for about 2 months but our grandparents couldn't handle taking care of us because they were in their 80's and wounldn't be able to support us financially. They put us in foster care and my brother and I got separated. I got to go to a family almost right away and my brother didn't. We never saw each other after the day I got sent to my first family. 

        The first family I was with were really nice but my foster mom had developed cancer after having me with them for 2 years. She was a very nice and caring person which mad it easy for me to accept her as my mother. It was my 6th birthday when she passed away. My foster dad couldn't handle me on his own and he didn't want me to grow up in a single family home. So back in the system I went. I asked my social worker where my brother was and she told me that he went to a nice family and they adopted him, and will no longer be in the system. I felt extremely sad but also very happy for him. 

        My second family wasn't that bad. The mom was always job sleeping or eating and the dad was always at work. I only saw him twice in the year that I lived there. The school I went to when I lived with them is the one where the bullying started happening. I got bullied for being a foster child and everyone always said no one wanted me and that's why I couldn't find a family to stay with. One day, I got beat up at school by some girls and I walked home without telling the teachers. When I got home, I saw my foster mom sitting on the couch with a needle in her arm. I didn't understand what it was so I asked but she just sat there cold and starring at the wall. She looked dead so I called my social worker with the number she had given to me. She came over really fast with the ambulance and then when she saw my foster mom, she pulled me out of the apartment, and I was back in the system. She never told me what happened, but now that I'm 17, I know what happened. 

        My first two families were the best families I have ever had. When I was 8 I got my third family and I was getting abused by both parents and molested by my foster dad. I was only in that family for about 3 months. I didn't get a new foster family for almost a year, when I was 10. From then till now, I've had abusive families. 

        My name is Alice Lynnfeild. I'm 16 and currently with the Calaways. Heather Calaway is my foster mom, Charles Calaway is my foster dad, and Justin Calaway is their son. He is 20 and in college. I've lived in their home for almost 4 years. The Calaways have a 4 bedroom, 4 bathroom house with a big backyard with a huge willow tree and large shed. The shed had electricity and outlets in it so Jusitn had been using it as a hang out spot for him and his friends. We also have a large basement that they converted to a cinema room. I try and stay out of the house for as long as I can. This family is the one I've had for the longest. I go to East Riddelton High school and that's where I met my best friend. His name is Charlie Anderson. He's barley a month older then me so he will be 17 in one month. We were basically best friends from the first time we talked. He knows everything about me and my families and he is the only one. He is also the only person who understands me and doesn't judge me. 

        The Calaways never adopted me for one reason, "just in case". By that, they mean, just in case I don't run away or just in case I don't get sent back to the "healing place". They said if I ran away or had to go back to the hospital, that they would send me back. The only reason why I listen to them is because I don't want to leave Charlie. He needs me, and I need him. We're both outcasts and we both are bullied. His dad is very abusive and his mom does all sorts of different drugs. They live in a small, 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom house. He has a 14 year old sister that he has to share a room with. Whenever his dad is out of town, Charlie and his sister, Ana, spend the whole time at my house. I let Ana stay the night whenever Charlie asks. I've learned to stop asking why because it usually has to do with his dad. I love having her here because she's like a little sister and I hate to see her go through what I've had to grow with.