52) The Control

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I was pissed

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I was pissed. Lately, it seemed like that was all I could feel. When I wasn't working, I spent most of the day working out or doing something else to occupy my mind. Even Darian couldn't keep up with the rigor of my new exercise routine. It didn't matter how much I tried to block everything out, the anger persisted.

When I couldn't keep it in anymore, I drove to the apartment of one of my sources of anger. I'd been avoiding her for days now, knowing I would blow up on her if we saw each other, but I had to. This confrontation was long overdue.

I stood outside the apartment door, trying to keep my breathing even as I waited. The minute she opened the door, Arya grinned, until she saw my expression.

Her face dropped. "Gyan." I passed her to enter the apartment, not bothering to take off my shoes. She closed the door and turned to face me. "What's wrong?"

I glared at her. "You've done it now." She sent me a confused look. "I never should have let Gabriel talk to you."

She crossed her arms. "What's wrong with him talking to me?"

"I wanted you to talk about Steven!" I hollered. "Aarav. Your shared trauma. I wanted you to give him some comfort, not talk about your love life in high school. Or lack of."

She frowned. "What are you talking about?"

I wagged a finger at her. "I don't know what the hell you told him. Something about Camila. Whatever it was, it gave him the smart idea to confess his love for me in front of a crowd of people."

She uncrossed her arms. "I never told him to do that. I gotta admit, he got balls. Wouldn't have been me."

"You encouraged him to," I said, "with your sad story about Camila and how you can lose people."

"Gabriel's a grown man," she said. "I can't control what he does."

"He broke up with me." The anger increased, and I had to take in a deep breath. "That same night after humiliating me and himself, he ended us."

Arya sent me a sympathetic look, pissing me off further. "I'm sorry, Gyan."

I jerked my arm away when she tried to reach for me. "Sorry doesn't cut it." I kept her at an arms-length. "He's going back to fucking Australia."

Arya's eyes went round. "No way."

Just saying it made me rub my forehead as I tried to keep it together. It was surreal. He told me he was going, but it couldn't be happening. It felt like he came back yesterday. He couldn't just leave again. If he left, we wouldn't be able to get back together. It would mean we were really through.

We couldn't be.

"You've fucked everything up," I muttered, my voice coming out defeated.

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