𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐘 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄 | WinterSpider | [𝟐] ✔

𝐗. 𝐒𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐎𝐖𝐅𝐔𝐋

ГРУСТНЫЙ

(TW: This is a bit depressing)

PETER FELT NOTHING BUT EMPTY. There were the usual sprinkles of anxiety and loneliness, but other than that, all he felt was numb. He was tired of it. All he ever felt like doing was drinking and never leaving his bed. Not that he ever slept in said bed. He just couldn't stand the dread and unfeeling that came with every waking hour. But if he slept he would have a nightmare, and his nightmares seemed to always leave him worse off.

All he wanted was to feel something. At that point he wanted pain. He wanted something, anything really as long as it wasn't this disgusting emptiness he was feeling at the moment. He and Bucky hadn't spoken in two weeks, and Peter hated it. The only thing he hated more was how selfish he was being. He knew Bucky was busy at work, and with the few friends, he and Peter had managed to make in the last six months. He felt like a shitty toddler. He wanted attention and he wasn't getting any from anyone.

Before the two weeks of radio silence, Peter and Bucky talked maybe every four or five days. Now to healthy individuals, that should not be that bad, but to mentally unstable people such as Peter, it fucking sucked.

Peter rarely ate anymore. The only thing going into his system was alcohol, and he was sure the Avengers thought of him as a chronic alcoholic. He hadn't changed in a week, who knows how long it had been since he showered. Most of his time was spent drinking and trying to get ahold of Flash, and the occasional, ignored, call to Bucky.

Peter knew that he was being a selfish prick, but was it really too much to ask for one phone call? Peter knew Bucky too well to ever think he would cheat on Peter, but he did know how easily Bucky became wrapped up in things that fascinated him, but that is not what worried Peter. Instead, he was driving himself crazy with worry about how Bucky never went more than a week without checking in, and it had been two. He may sound like a clingy and crazy boyfriend, but with their history, and constant threats, he had to be.