You're My Peace of Mind

Part 16

CHAPTER 16

2/7/2013

Time to write in this stupid thing again. My therapist encouraged me to continue, I think it's about time to kill him. He asked me if I could go back in time and change one life event what would it be? I told him it would be the first person I killed. Because once you've gotten over your fear over killing someone, it becomes easier and easier and eventually you become so fearless that killing yourself is just as easy. They say killing yourself is a sin but is it really if you have someone do it for you?

V.D

It's been about 2 weeks since the gala, Duffy explained to me that Emilio had called him to take Claudia home and that him and I would stay at the gala longer. I forgave Duffy and explained to him the "chat" Kelly and myself had. He believes we should call a silent hit on Fucci but I worry it would escalade the pending deadly war we were trying to avoid, plus men automatically would suspect me. Unfortunately, we need Fucci as he has good connections with the Russians needed for our shipment as Emilio has warned me. Sipping my coffee as I look at the window in the kitchen watching the rain fall, deep in my thoughts, I'm interrupted by Claudia and Duffy arguing. I made my way to see what the argument was all about.

"You asked me out then you leave me alone the whole night and when I called you, you never answered and now you want to apologize to me?"  Claudia said angry pointing and waving her finger at Duffy. "I said I'm sorry what else do you want me to say." Duffy said looking confused "Ana, help me out." He said looking at me with pleading eyes. "No, don't get me involved in this mess." I said laughing.

"I know you were with some chick; I saw Emilio all up on some girl and you were with her friend." Claudia said with sad eyes.  Duffy sighed and said, "I told you it was about business."

"Duffy, was Lo there?" I asked hoping he would give me some information about my longtime friend. "No, Emilio said she moved back to France." Duffy said.

That's when I knew something was wrong. "What's wrong Ana?" Duffy said scanning my face. "Nothing." I lied running out of the living room into my room locking the door behind me. My mind was racing a million thoughts. Something deep down in my gut told me something was wrong. Flashback:

"Please Lo, I really want to visit I heard Paris is so romantic." I said trying to convince my best friend to take me to her native country for a girls vacation. "Nope, never." she said with her thick French accent. We were at the mall shopping, she was so excited she got a new job, she won't tell me where or what it was, all she said was that her client was very important and well known. She was trying on a very short dark green bodycon dress. "Well, what do you think?" she asked me eager for my opinion. "It's kinda short." I said pointing out that the dress almost barley covered her butt. "The sexier the better." She said winking and smiling at me. "I think it would look even sexier in Paris" I said. Lo's smiled dropped "Ana, I'm never going back there, I can't." she steps closer to me and lower her voice. "I did something very bad back home, my Aunt quickly reached out to your Nana who agreed to take me in. If I had stayed or even go back..." she stopped short of finishing the sentence. In my time of knowing Lo this was the first time I've seen her cry. I hugged her for comfort, pulling out of the hug she wiped her tears "I hope here I can live the American dream. Plus, I can't leave you all alone." She said smiling. "Now unzip!" she said turning her back to me so I can unzip her dress.

Lo never told me what she did back in France, nor did I ever ask, but one thing I always took away from that day, if I was to ever go to Paris, I would go without Lo because she would never go back to France. I started to feel very alone and sadden, missing my best friend. I quickly decided to go to one of Lo's favorite coffee shop in the city to help me think this out. Did Emilio kill Lo? Coming back downstairs I see Claudia cleaning up a broken glass. I look at her questionably. "I threw a glass at him, but I'm more pissed that I missed." She said while continuing to clean. I shake my head "I think you two need couples counseling." I said. Duffy had walked in at that moment "We aren't in a relationship." he said.