You're My Peace of Mind

Part 18

"Please leave a message after the tone...beep"

Hello Mom, it's your daughter Ana. It's been a few years since we spoke but please call me back... I need your help. Please.

Hanging up the phone, I walked into my bedroom I shared with my husband. Not sure why I called my mom, maybe it was guilt. Or maybe I was looking to talking to somebody to remind me who I use to be before all this. I looked at the bed, his side of the bed untouched. Smelling his pillow, I inhaled his scent memories of our love flooded my head. Looking into the mirror I no longer recognize myself. I once was someone's daughter, someone's love, someone's friend. Choosing good over the bad. I was no longer Ana, no longer human, selling my soul to the familia. I was swallowed up by this life and now I was suffocating drowning in the blood shed that I created. Innocent lives I destroyed, families I've broken up and the one I loved the most killed all for selfish gains.

"Miss Ana, there is someone at the door." My housekeeper informed me. I nodded dismissing her. Smoothing out my black knee length dress, I slipped on my black wedges and placed my mourning veil over my head. Heading towards the door, I called out for Emeli. "Is he ready." I asked. "Yes Ma'am" my housekeeper answered walking towards the foyer holding the hand of my three-year-old son. He looked just like his father, with curly sandy brown hair and hazel eyes, kneeling I kissed his forehead as he gave me that familiar toothy grin. He was the only good I did in this life of mine.

Opening the door, it was pouring rain and gusty winds. Standing at the door was the police chief and a few patrol men. "Mrs. Depasquale" the captain said holding his arm for me as we descended down my front stairs. Getting into the limo, my son was seated next to me as the chief was seated on the other side. "The Heavens are crying for the loss of one the departments finest." He said as we rode in silence to the funeral. The mayor, the chief and other officers spoke during the service. His Eulogy was given by one of his friend from the academy. My son too young to understand, cried out to his father asking why he was not waking up from sleeping.

Police officers all throughout the country, lined up for my husband a sign of respect for dying in the line of duty. The hearse covered in flowers had a police escort to the cemetery. He had twelve men firing party and eight men flag team. "Eternal rest, grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. Through the mercy of God rest in peace." The priest said the last prayer as the men folded the American flag draped over his casket. An officer slowly walked over and gave the flag to my son, I couldn't bare to receive the flag after the deeds I've done. My mother in-law Maria let out a shriek as they started to lower his casket, my sister in-law Teresa struggled as she tried to hold her up while holding an umbrella. It was then at the moment that I knew we would never meet again, as he would be in heaven and I rot in hell.

Two husbands I've had in this short life, each completely opposite but had the same fate. Watching my son hold the flag being so strong, I prayed he would grow up to be like his father and not end up like me, for I was weak, letting my pride destroy my family. Turning I cried into the chief chest, felling his arms wrap around me, I cried for my son Alessandro, I cried for my husband and most of all I cried for my sins. I wasn't who these people thought I was, Ana Depasquale, no I was Viviana DeLaruso. My dead husband Alexander Depasquale knew actually who I was. Behind those hazel eyes held disappointment the night he found out. He was trying to save me, but you can't save the ones whom don't want saving.

Walking back to the car, I saw two figures in the distance. I didn't need to see their faces to know who they were and why there were here. It was a warning; this was all a warning not to continue. Death was calling my name if I continue. But honestly the warning was the day after Kelly died. From there I tell you the story of how betrayal, murder, lies, love and happiness all got me to this day.

*Sorry for the short chapter it was just a quick insight into the Ana's future. The next chapter will be where it was left off from Chapter 17.