More than hate. Less than love

The cheer up

As I close my curtains I start to get ready, even though it's 2 I still like to get ready early because then I won't have to rush.

As I went to my closet I heard my window open *the one that's not broken* as I turn around I see a person that I don't want to see at the moment. "Why are you in my room" I ask clearly irritated "why can't I be in your room" Kenzie asked "do you not see that I'm not in the mood to argue" I say turning back to my closet "I didn't come over here to yell at you John. I can have an actual conversation with you ya know" she said going over to my bed "well I must have forgotten" I said still not looking at her "so where are you guys going" she asked "nowhere" I said coldly "I'm actually trying to talk to you J" she said clearly annoyed "but I don't want to talk to you Kenz that's the thing, you have been a real bitch lately for no reason and I love you to death but I would rather be alone for this whole month than continue this" I yelled at her,

she didn't show any emotion she just sat there and honestly I was hoping this wouldn't be her reaction "ok" is all she said, but she still sat there "so are you going to leave" I ask her confused "you said you'd rather be alone, but I know you and know that you hate being alone" she said now standing up "I know that you are sad and angry because your parents haven't been here for about 7 months and when they do come back it's for like 3 days. I know that you like to be with people to distract you from the fact that you have no one. Johnny I don't like liars and you are lying so I'm going to ask you this once and only once. Do you want me to really go? And if you say yes are you going to break anything else" she asked getting close.

I was torn I wanted her to go but deep down I know I hate being alone no matter what I'm going through. I only had one logical answer "no. No I don't want you to go" I said turning from my closet "then why did you lie to me" she asked not moving but looking into my eyes "I'm angry k. All they do is leave, they have missed all my birthday's past age 11. They are terrible parents, they leave me alone in a big house and expect me to sit here and wait for them." I said sadly "you know I will never leave you alone. I will stay with you as long as possible to keep you from being lonely" she said grabbing my hands. "I know. And I thank you for that" I say pulling her into a hug "I love you" she said into my chest "I love you too" I say hugging her even more.

One we pull away I check my phone and see it's 3:15. "I kinda have to get ready" I say awkwardly "yeah yeah sorry. I should hold you up from your friends" she said putting in a crappy fake smile "I don't have to go. We can sit here and have fun of our own" I say trying to cheer her up "no I get it, I've been mean lately and I need to get some math homework done anyways" she said rolling up the sleeves of her flannel "oh ok do you wanna come over around like 11 and hang out" I ask with a equally fake smile "I guess" she said looking at the ground "do you wanna help me get ready" I asked smiling "I- math" she said  shyly "oh shut up you can finish it while I'm gone. Now help me k" I say grabbing her hands and taking her to my closet.

She has been cleaning up my room as I get ready, "you look cute you know that" I say looking at her out of my mirror "no I don't, I'm sweaty and in baggy clothes. How is this cute" she said still cleaning. I know that girls are self conscious more than boys, and I know for a fact that Kenzie likes to present herself and hates doing anything where you have to show a lot skin, she thinks she's fat when she isn't, she thinks that I won't date her because she isn't pretty enough but that's not the reason. I look at her from my mirror again and I see that she is covering her body with her arms.

I sigh and get up "well I think you look very pretty. I enjoy you in baggy clothes, especially when they are mine" I said wrapping my arms around her "you shouldn't Like this, a guy like you should like pretty skinny girls who wear tight clothes" she said laughing "well I'm sorry that I don't like girl's who try too hard to be perfect, tight clothes show too much, I like just a little, and you are skinny" I say hugging her tighter "shouldn't you be getting ready you have to leave in like 30 minutes" she said getting out of my grip "well I'm ready and I'm bored so do you wanna dance with me" I asked pulling out my phone "I have to finish cleaning" she said continuing her sweeping.