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...¿?Okay?¿...

I'm
Okay
I say it so much
I think everyone believes it
And maybe I am
And maybe I'm not
Who am I to say
That I'm not okay
When my problems are worthless
People have it worse than me
I'm okay
I'm okay
I'm okay
Over and over again
Because I am
I'm okay
But sometimes
I can't move
I can't breathe
I can't think
I can't speak
It hurts too much
This pain in me
Knives in my heart
A tear
A rip
A crack
It's cut in half
I wonder if it's bleeding
From the inside out
Hell hounds
Playing with the beat
Of my heart
There's nothing I can do
So they smile
And laugh and laugh and laugh
With each chuckle
Something else
Crumbles
Gets disinagrated
Or flat out murdered
Air air air
I can't get enough
These drowning lungs
Suffocatingly tight
How I envy those who can breathe
Without care or worry
No one notices
I don't mind
And if they happen to see me
I smile through my pain
Yes I'm okay
No there's nothing wrong
He wants to go somewhere
With me
Okay
I can't run but I can walk
Very
Slowly
Not like a sleepy turtle
But a snail
Or okay
I can go faster
I can be a cheetah
And yeah it'll hurt
And everything might go black
But I don't want to get left behind
It hurts
Like an electrocuted nerve
The world goes fuzzy
And I can't hear
See
Feel
Anything but silence
And this pain
So I whisper my concern
And
He says I'm okay
He's felt this way
Before
I beg to differ
If he has
He's a idiot
For not telling
A doctor
A nurse
An ER surgeon
Somebody
But to him
It's perfectly normal
Okay
I guess one day
We'll see if I was right to worry
And if it's too late to save me
I'll laugh and say
"I told you so."
But if that hurts my family
Family connected by love not blood
It'll be my fault
That something changes
And I'll think that maybe
I should have told someone
Other than the one person
Who terrifies me
And doesn't take
Anything I say
Seriously
I'm so stupid
But
I'm okay
I'm okay
I'm okay
I promise
I'm okay