Eighteen ➳ Niam Horayne

1 | "I Got a Soul"

NIALL'S POV

PRESENT DAY (roughly 4 years later)

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My senses sparked immediately as the cool breeze of the winter morning brushed upon my naked skin. Prying my eyes open I quickly shut them once again as a result from the burn of the sunlight. Shielding my eyes with my hand, I managed to open them enough to roll over and look at my flashing alarm clock.

7:29 am.

1 more minute of peace, 1 more minute of sanity I grumbled to my self forcing my eyes further open than before. My mind slowly began to wander to the past events that lead me to this moment. The bullying, beatings, cuts and hurt that managed to follow me wherever I went, and they all happened after he left. He left me cut open, ready to die. After he left I had no one, and no one wanted me. They couldn't except me after I came out as gay, not even my own father could. He would constantly ask;

"Why god? Why did you mess up when creating my child? He's caught something that can't be cured."

After he left, life was shit. Liam. Payne. The definition of heartbreak.

*buzz, buzz*

My arm extended poking and prodding in search of the off button on my alarm so that I could escape one nightmare and enter another. Successfully switching the alarm off I sighed at the sudden peace that filled my mind, even though I knew it wouldn't last long. Using my arms I pushed my torso upright, dangling my feet over the edge of my bed, feeling a sense of weightlessness until my feet touched the floor.

My mind spun back into reality thinking about everything to come of the day ahead as I walked into the bathroom. My mind began painting a picture of what the school would look like, the people that would pretend to be my friend, and most importantly the people that will make my life the living hell I have become so accustomed to.

Changing into my usual dark, dreery clothes and smoothing down my mess of hair I quickly scanned myself in the mirror, repulsed by the figure that stared back at me. I sighed watching the figure repeat the action, placing it's hand against the glass to meet mine.

"Today's gonna be shit." We both cooed at the same time, pulling out hands off of one another, whimpering at the loss of touch.

I bit my lip as I crawled down the stairs wondering if I would get to see mum this morning. Surely she will be here, its my first day, I reassured myself as I continued to thump down the grand staircase. I poked my head around the corner in hopes of seeing my mothers figure in the kitchen, smiling and happy waiting for me, wanting to celebrate my first day of school with me.

The small smile on my face dropped as I saw the white piece of paper on the counter that I had almost completely memorized.

"Sorry I'm not here to see you on your big day. I got called in early this morning, but I'll be home in time to cook you supper.
Xx mum."

"Love you too." I whispered grabbing the ready made sandwich off of the kitchen counter, stuffing it in my bag as I slung it on my shoulder waltzing out the door.

It was about a 100 metre walk to the bus stop, but on my short journey I felt my stomach begin to rumble with emptiness. I looked down at my stomach, mumbling to it as if it could hear me verbally soothing its pain. Even though it was uncomfortable, I knew that skipping breakfast would do me good, the feeling of hunger is always so satisfying.