lost boy // billy hargrove

5

"it was right here," I cried to hopper, my voice not sounding like my own, "his car was right here!" 

hopper leaned against his truck, smoking a cigarette as he looked around to see any signed of billy's car that had been there the night before. 

after passing out, it took me a moment to remember where I was and what had happened. hopper was there when I woke up, leaning down and checking my temperature with the back of his hand. his eyes were trying to find something wrong and why I was covered in dirt and bits of blood and glass. finally realizing why I had come there, I told him we had to go get billy. 

refusing to let me go back out without going to the hospital, he sent a patrol car there and he took me to get checked up. they ended up keeping me over night, making sure my vitals were okay and I wouldn't faint again. 

by the time they released me, I begged hopper to go back to where billy and I had crashed just in case the patrol hadn't looked in the right place since he came back saying there was nothing there. 

but there was nothing there- no sign of the car, the crash, or of billy. 

stomping out the cigarette with his foot, hopper put his arm around me before leading me to the passenger side door and helping me in. tears fell down my cheeks at the thoughts of what couldn't happened to him. did he get the car started again, only for it to break down again on his way to me? was he passed out somewhere, waiting for me to find him? 

my mind was racing faster than the car as all the possibilities and worst-case scenarios seemed to take over. by the end, I was nearly full sobbing until hopper pulled in to the pool parking lot. 

I looked over at him, blurry eyed, as I tried to understand what was happening. pointing past the front gate, I followed his gaze only to give a gasp in response. 

there stood billy, a gray tank top covering him, sweat pooled around his forehead as the summer heat gazed down at everyone in the pool. 

choking, I cried some more as I realized he was okay and hadn't tried to reach out to me. instead, here he was at work, sitting on the little lifeguard stand, completely fine. he didn't even know if I was okay or not, but he had gone to work. 

what if I hadn't made it to the police station before I passed out? what if I was still on the side of the road somewhere, bleeding and helpless? had he tried to look for me? did he not care about me anymore? 

I went to reach for the car door handle, but hopper grabbed my shoulder, halting all actions. 

"now's not the time. I'm bringing you home and you can think about what you want to say while you get better," is all he said before pulling out of the parking lots and turning for home. 

I sat quietly in my seat, trying to process everything. had I done something wrong? had I tried to move to fast and the crash was some kind of sign? had he realized that he didn't want me anymore? 

I hopped out of the car before noticing that hopper hand't gotten out. 

"I have to run into work. go in and get some sleep," he said before pulling away. 

I walked slowly to the door, a new weight on my shoulders as I unlocked the door and went to my room. everything was supposed to be better; mama was gone, but so was jones. I had my new family and I had billy. whatever that thing from last year was gone and life was supposed to move smoother. 

I covered myself with my blanket before quietly crying myself to sleep at the misery that was my life.