transcript of a beetlejuice role-play on Instagram

session 1

Barbara: Lydia, I heard you're inviting someone over! Who's the special someone?

Lydia: Lydia looks up from the couch - who told you that..?

Barbara: Delia

Lydia: Ugh. Of course Delia. No. No ones coming over.

Barbara: Really? Why would Delia lie?

Delia: Hey don't tell her I told you! Plus I don't lie, lying is bad for the soul as my guru Otho always says.

Barbara: Ah, Yes

Beetlejuice (me): Sup guys what'd I miss. *starts chewing one of delia's crystals*

- Lydia rolls her eyes -
Lydia: Delia. I've told you a million times. I don't have friends.

*Barbara stands confused*

Beetlejuice: What about me?

Lydia: Well besides you guys. I ment real life people.

Delia: Beetlejuice don't eat my crystals!

Barbara: Wait, why were you eating crystals, Beetlejuice?

Beetlejuice: What, they keep my fangs in check *continues to gnaw on them*

Barbara: That can't be healthy.

Delia: sharpen your fangs another way Beetlejuice

Lydia: *gets up from the couch* Beetlejuice. Drop them
*holds her hand out in front of Beej*

Beetlejuice: What, would you rather me chew on the ceiling tiles?

Lydia: No Beej. I would rather you chew nothing.

Barbara: Once, Adam and I took this recreational class and they told us that carrots are good for you're teeth! Also, brushing them with toothpaste but we know that's not gonna happen

Delia: Barb he's not going to eat anything healthy and you know that

Lydia: I'm going to my room. *walks up stairs and into her room*

Beetlejuice: Well, if I don't chew on anything my fangs get too long. And no one cares about your adult recreational classes Babs.

Barbara: True.

Delia: Be nice bj

Barbara: Adam cares!

Beetlejuice: Since when have you known to be nice Deils?

*Lydia comes back down stairs and walks into the kitchen and pulls out a carrot. She walks back towards Beej and throws the carrrot at him*

*Barbara claps happily*

Beetlejuice: Ow, what was that for? *Rubs face hurt*

Delia: I'll have you know I'm a very nice person bj

Lydia: CHEW ON IT

Barbara: You screamed at that girl scout the other day because she had no more thin mints, Delia

*Lydia slumps down on the couch getting a head ache from this mess of yelling*

Delia: Well thin mints are delicious. The best Girl Scout cookies

Beetlejuice: Lyds, NEVER *continues chewing crystal*

Lydia: No there not Delia. The best are the chocolate covered cracker ones *Lydia turns towards Delia*